winner of the
1999 beamer award
for best short story
by joe average (firstname.lastname@example.org)
(illustrations by prinz eugen)
note: if reading this will get you in trouble with your spouse, your parents, your teacher, your librarian, or your local law enforcement agency, then don't read it.
"what's this all about?" puzzled dr. kevin allen, walking into his private office. "i'm not used to being called away away from a patient examination. just who are you people, anyway?" he stared across his desk at the man and woman seated before him.
the woman spoke first. "we're sorry, doctor. but it's important. a great deal of money is involved."
"what? what is this?" he was truly confused, and a little put out.
the well-dressed men jumped in. "let me explain, doctor. sorry about calling you away. my name is sidney katz. i'm the head of a very prominent hollywood studio. we greased a couple of palms to get in touch with you, and you should know right away that your palm will be greased as well. liberally."
the mention of hollywood caught the doctor's attention. "which studio?"
"it's not important," snapped mr. katz. "let's just say it a studio known for wholesome, family entertainment. and it's important for us to keep that reputation."
"all right, i'm listening," said dr. allen, satisfied that this would be monetarily worth his while.
the curvaceous bleached-blonde woman began. "my name is mindy monroe. my daughter is a very famous television actress, dr. allen. you probably know who she is. she's the star of one of tv's number one family comedies, everything happens to emma."
"oh! the show with that cute, adorable little girl! i love that program! i like the way she gets into trouble, and then she looks at us with the little smile and says... 'oh-oh!' it's one of my favorites!" smiled kevin.
"everybody loves that 'oh-oh!', don't they?" laughed ms. monroe.
"the show is a huge hit every friday night," interjected sidney. "cornerstone of the network's family lineup. regular license to print money!"
"i see," nodded the doctor.
"well, we're worried about emma. something is bound to... happen. it could happen any day. and when it does, that license to print money may as well be revoked."
"what are you talking about?" wondered dr. allen.
"puberty. it's due. hell, it's overdue," fumed sidney katz.
"how could that be? isn't emma... i don't know, ten years old or something?" asked the doc.
"no! she just looks it. she's sixteen... almost seventeen," explained mindy. "we've been lucky that way. since she looks younger than she is, she can work longer, and we don't have to shut down production so much for her tutoring sessions. as she's a good enough actress to make the adorable act work. but now..."
the doctor still looked puzzled.
"well, doctor-- i don't want to tell you anything that could get us in the tabloids. can we trust you?" asked ms. monroe. as she did, sidney reached into his wallet and counted ten crisp one-hundred dollar bills onto the doctor's desk.
"of course," said dr. allen, pocketing the cash.
"i used to be a stripper... a men's magazine model... and, once in awhile, a porn star," said mindy. "i used various names." automatically, she began tugging at her top to expose more cleavage and puffing out her considerable chest. "barbie bigones, nancy knockers, lotta boobies..."
"that's where i'd seen you before!" cried out the doc. "lotta boobies! i saw you dance at the old beelzebub theatre. i reached over to shake your hand when you were done..."
"and i did this?" smiled mindy, grabbing the doctor's hand and shoving it into her blouse.
"right! wow. lady, you don't know how much you did to help me get through medical school!" sighed dr. allen.
"all right, all right, now you get to return the favor!" muttered sidney, sarcastically. "get on with it."
"well, doctor, just look at me. look at these. back in those days, they didn't have implants like today. a big-busted girl was really a big-busted girl. and you know voluptousness is mostly genetics. it's only a matter of time before emma develops into something other than 'america's sweetheart.'"
"yeah, more like 'america's wet dream'!" sniffed sid. "the studio can't have that!"
"i guess it'd be hard to believe stories about emma losing her doggy or trying to make new friends at grammar school with those two great big..." began the doctor.
"exactly, and no one would buy that little 'oh-oh!' coming from a sexpot," mindy cut him off mid-sentence. "and you know-- there's a precedent for this."
"how do you mean?" asked dr. allen.
"lots of[censored]stars develop into sex goddesses. usually, it's after their[censored]star career is over. look at, say, 'tootie' from the facts of life!"
"that's right! from chubby teen to busty babe," marveled the doctor. "of course, she had them reduced recently."
"did she?" asked sid, looking disappointed. "i didn't know that."
mindy went on. "danielle brisebois, from archie bunker's place? she developed a world-class pair. andrea mcardle, the girl in annie on broadway? tons of cleavage... to die for! jill whelan from the love boat... looked like she was smuggling two bald guys in the front of her dress. and the biggest ever, punky boobster--!"
"brewster. yes, soleil moon frye. you know, she had a rare medical condition," explained the doctor.
"dr. allen, you seem unusually well informed about this phenomenon," smiled sidney.
"well..." dr. allen hemmed and hawed a bit. "after all, a doctor has to keep abreast--oh! i mean, keep on top of-- oh god, that's worse isn't it? i mean keep up on the american scene..."
"sure, sure," fumed sidney. "what we want to know is, what can ya do about it? we have to keep it quiet, and money is no object."
"well, there is something," admitted dr. allen. "but how can we keep it quiet? every medical procedure needs paperwork."
"money is no object. if strong-arm goons delivering satchels full of cash to your home in the dark of night is all right with you, i think we can work something out," said sidney.
"okay! now you're talking," said the doctor. "there's a pill the romanian gymnastics team has a standing order for. emma would have to take a tablet a day. it retards the growth of all womanly curves."
"what about her sex drive?" asked mindy.
"well... there's a problem there. there's only so much this medication can do. it'll keep the curves from busting out all over, but the sex drive will not only emerge, it'll be magnified," explained the doc.
"ohhhh, because she'll be frustrated that she doesn't have the equipment to snag the guys she's lusting over," nodded mom mindy.
"the insight of a woman. yes, that's exactly right. you'll have to be very careful about her public appearances. she'll look like an olsen twin, but talk like a phone sex operator," said dr. allen.
"oh, hell," fumed sidney. "i guess we can handle that. is there... an antidote, once the show goes off the air, so she can have her puberty, finally?"
"not an antidote, per se. when the dosage is stopped, it'll come. in spades. and it'll happen the minute you stop treatment," explained the doctor. "so you must give her tablet at the same time every day. if you're one minute late, it can trigger a sudden, radical change."
"the studio will make all the arrangements! thank you, dr. allen," said sidney, standing up to take his leave. "come along, mindy. thanks for your cooperation, doctor."
"and thank you for those satchels full of cash!" laughed the doctor. sidney strode out of the office.
mindy lingered a moment. she stepped up to where dr. allen was seated and pulled the front of her blouse down. she pulled his smiling face into her cleavage. "that's my way of thanking you. i hope we see each other again," she said, walking toward the door and packing her two big beauties back into their hiding places. god, thought the doctor. i'd almost take that instead of the cash.
emma sweetchild loved being a tv star. people on the street would ask for her autograph, and tell her how much it meant to them that she had a show the whole family could enjoy together. they loved the way her character got into wholesome mischief every friday night. why, whenever emma went out in public, people would wave, smile, and call out, "hey, emma! 'oh-oh!'" and they'd laugh and laugh. she would put on little emma's mischievous facial expression and call "oh-oh!" right back. it made her feel good. but emma was nobody's fool. she knew that this stardom thing could evaporate overnight. so when her mother and the studio head came to explain why she needed to take this medication, she agreed readily.
"it's key to the success of everything happens to emma," said sid, gravely.
"i know, sid. no problem," she smiled, agreeably, as she pulled on her trademark overalls.
"and you know how tough it's been to dodge the tabloids so far," added her mom. "can you imagine what they'd print if they found out i was your mother? 'america's sweetheart a junior porn star'! it'll only get worse if the public sees you go through puberty."
"i get it, mama. don't worry," emma reassured her, tying her hair into the twin ponytails she wore on the show.
"but dear, i don't want you to think i'm denying you something. well..." mindy thought a moment. "i am. but it's worth it!"
"it's okay, you guys. don't worry! now, i have to learn a script," said little emma. "run along!"
"all right, kid. we'll see ya," mumbled sid, heading for the dressing room door.
"goodbye, sweetheart. brad and i have a dinner date!" beamed mindy.
"brad? you're going out with the actor who plays my father on the show?" asked emma. the producers of everything happens to emma had been canny. they knew that casting emma's single dad was key-- no roly-poly character actors for this role. they found brad hanson-- young, handsome, and able to fill out a tight pair of jeans nicely. he'd bring in lots of viewers-- not only young girls, but their moms.
"yes! isn't he dreamy?" said mindy, experimenting with her blouse to see just how much cleavage she could expose without showing any nipple.
"mama! must you screw your daughter's daddy?" scolded emma.
mindy assumed she was joking. "don't most mothers get to screw their daughter's daddies?" she laughed as she bounced out of the room, leading with her two big pectoral assets.
left alone, emma was not as cheery about things as she seemed. she always dreamed of the day brad would notice her. but now that she was going to be medically trapped in a little girl's body, it looked as if that day might never come.
mindy and sid were scrupulous about administering emma's medication, for they took dr. allen's cautions seriously. he said the minute they missed a dose, puberty would come, and so far-- so good. emma made it through another season of wholesome scripts about feeding the doggy, forming a "no boys allowed" club, and having a paper route. now she was seventeen, but as far as the world was concerned, she was still their dear, sweet, 12-year-old emma.
not that there weren't a few close calls.
an l.a. morning disc jockey had asked her where she saw herself in five years during a taped phone interview.
emma smiled and said, "breaking the the world gang bang record. and learning how to suck cock from an expert, like my mom."
the station destroyed the tape and received a satchel full of cash.
then there was the time that emma and hunky brad hanson, who played her single father, were taping the show in front of a live studio audience. in one scene, little emma was seated in an easy chair, and "daddy" was to pull a high wooden stool over to her, stride it, and say "emma, dear. we have to talk."
this put emma face to face with brad's crotch. in a very tight pair of jeans. imagine-- sexually and emotionally 17--physically 12.
all emma could do was sit and stare at that overfilled crotch, transfixed. she never came up with her next line. fortunately, to the studio audience, it just looked like a young actress' jitters. they never suspected. the director called off the rest of the taping and sent emma to her dressing room.
there she found mindy, her mom. since the studio still had to keep quiet the fact that their popular kid star had an ex-porn star as a mother, mindy was smuggled into the dressing room during each taping after the audience was seated. she had been watching the whole thing on the studio monitor.
"honey--what happened?" asked emma's voluptuous mother.
"oh, mama, i lost my train of thought," wailed emma. "once i was staring at brad's crotch like that-- i couldn't think of anything else but how his cock would look naked, and how i'd wrap my lips around it lovingly... i can't take this forced pre-adolescence much longer."
"oh, sweetie, i'm sorry," counseled mindy. "it seemed like such a good idea at the time... but now i see that it's hard on you."
"mama, try to avoid saying 'hard-on'!'" cried emma.
"mama?" emma asked shyly.
"can you tell me what it's like? when you and brad... do whatever it is you do?"
"sure! if you think that would help," smiled emma's mama.
"when you date... where do you go?" emma wanted to know.
"well, we have to sneak around a bit. i wouldn't look good for brad's career to be seen with me. can you imagine? 'america's favorite daddy drilling porn star'. the papers would love it. so we mostly just stay at his place-- and fuck."
emma let out with an anguished cry.
"what's wrong, dear? are you embarrassed?" mindy wanted to know.
"no, mama. envious."
"there, there, darling. your time will come. when i walk in he gives me two big juicy hello kisses. well... he doesn't really give them to me. it's more like he's kissing each of my boobies hello."
emma began to noticably salivate.
"then he peels off my skintight blouse, and usually rips my bra in two, if i'm wearing one," mindy continued. "then he prepares me for his favorite little activity. he calls it 'jug-heading'. most everyone else calls it titfucking."
"what's that?" emma wanted to know, as her hands began wandering about her own body.
"he puts his cock 'head' between my 'jugs'-- just drops his rock-hard tool into my generous cleavage and starts sawing away!" mindy said with a broad smile.
"but-- doesn't it chafe?" asked emma.
"no. he lubricates it first by putting it my mouth and banging it back and forth several times, toward the back of my throat. three or four strokes of that and it's really slippery with my saliva."
another yelp of anguish from emma.
"dear, are you hurt?" mindy wanted to know.
"not hurt, mama. just horny!" emma cried. "oh, mama, mama, mama. i can't wait. i just can't wait."
mindy reached out to stroke her daughter's face. "it won't be long, dear. i promise."
then there was the day emma was to celebrate her 18th birthday (which the press was told was her 13th). outside the studio, one of the leggy tv reporters for that entertainment news show called out, "emma! whattaya want for your birthday?"
emma smiled a devilish smile. "imagine the dallas cowboys," she began. "--naked."
"what?" gasped the reporter. a security guard spirited emma off to her dressing room while sid hurried over to the reporter and sputtered, "she said, 'imagine the dallas cowboys-- and the lakers. she was talking about going to a football game! or... a basketball game. i mean, isn't that what 13-year old tomboys talk about?"
"i doubt it. sounded like something sexual to me," said the reporter. "we've got it right here, on tape," she explained, holding up the beta cassette. sid grabbed it and yanked the tape out of its casing, rendering it useless for air.
"hey!" called the photographer. "what the hell are you doing?"
"just this," explained sid, giving the photographer and the reporter each a satchelful of cash.
when sid joined emma and mindy in the dressing room, he collapsed onto an easy chair with a sigh. "god, that was a close one."
mindy shot her daughter a sharp look. "emma, why did you have to say that?"
"mama! you know i can't help it!" protested emma.
"she's right. it's the drugs talking-- sort of," sighed sid. "we gotta take the good with the bad. it could have been worse. she might have explained what she wanted to do with the dallas cowboys, naked."
mindy and emma both began to giggle like schoolgirls. "tell me, later," whispered mindy.
emma began to change into her tv costume. baggy long-sleeved orange t-shirt, bib overalls, sneakers, and a backwards baseball cap. as she put her brown hair into her customary twin ponytails, the stage manager popped his head into the dressing room. "five minutes, miss sweetchild."
sid rose and spoke to emma in a more professional capacity. "this is an important episode, baby. it's all about your daddy telling you that you're still too young for boys."
"i'm ready, chief. let's give america some wholesome entertainment!" emma piped up in her still little-girlish voice.
the taping began without incident. oh, emma still pouted from offstage when the women in the audience hooted and hollered when "daddy" brad hanson made his first entrance... but she pulled herself together and did her professional best to get through the script. she knew this would be a tough one. the writers had scrupulously avoided any storylines that even suggested sex or romance-- but now they thought they couldn't help it. a girl emma's age would be curious about boys. so even though it was the g-rated version, emma would be talking about boy/girl relationships. she'd have to really work to keep her pharmaceutically-enhanced horniness from creeping into her performance.
but then came the weekly confrontation scene between little emma and her daddy. the script called for emma to say, "daddy! all the other girls get to see boys!" but when they reached that point in the story line, little emma stomped her feet and cried, "daddy! all the other girls get to suck balls!"
there was an audible gasp from the studio audience. the sight of such a cute little girl talking that way stunned them into silence. brad hanson was so shocked, he couldn't speak.
the voice of the director came over the public address system. "emma, honey. let's take that again. the line is 'all the other girls get to see boys.'"
nervous laughter all around. the cameras began to roll again.
"but daddy! all the other girls get to see boys!"
brad sighed in relief, and responded with his next line. "emma, sweetheart. no. if all the other girls jumped off a cliff, would you?"
emma sunk into the sofa. "daddy! i--i--" she had apparently forgotten her next line.
"ok, cut!" came the director's voice from the control room. "emma, let's review the lines. you say 'daddy! i just wanna have fun with boys! i want them to come over sometimes. i want them to see my toys, play some games, and let me serve them cold soda pop!' you remember?"
emma spoke to the director apologetically. "of course. i'm so sorry." she then turned to her fans. "i'll get it right this time!"
the crowd chuckled warmly and applauded.
"let's pick it up from 'all the other girls..." suggested the director.
"ok," said emma, visibly sweating.
"daddy! all the other girls get to suck balls!"
brad didn't even notice, and came back with his line. "emma, if all the other girls jumped off a cliff, would you?"
once again, emma stomped her feet and sank onto the couch. "daddy! i just wanna fuck with boys. i want them to come all over me, all the time. i want them to suck my titties, play with my clit, and let me serve them hot steaming pussy!"
the shocked silence from the the audience was absolutely deafening. it was as if they were collectively holding their breath.
slowly, it dawned on emma what she had said. she turned and faced the audience, and took on her trademark facial expression, combining mischief and dread.
"oh-oh!" she said.
"'oh-oh' my ass!" shouted the director. "my god. fade to black!"
the stage lights went off, and emma and brad were hustled off stage.
in emma's dressing room, sid the studio head and mindy, emma's mom, looked at the studio monitor. then they looked at each other.
"now what do we do?" asked sid, stunned. "any bright ideas?"
"it's the end. no question. you could give every member of the audience a satchelful of cash and have them sign a vow of secrecy, but there's no way the tabloids won't get a hold of this," answered a suddenly serious mindy.
"well," said sid, standing up, "we won't even try. let's take the show off the air. it was fun while it lasted... i guess we should just send everyone home."
"sid?" asked mindy, a little shyly. "can i ask a favor?"
"since this is the end of everything happens to emma... can my daughter have her puberty?"
"hell, i guess so. she's earned it! i'm going to go talk to the cast and tell them the news. we'll have to buy off a few contracts. that's show-biz, i guess." sid began sauntering out of the dressing room.
"i think maybe i should call dr. allen. he should be here if emma is going to go through puberty all at once!" said mindy, standing and following him. "there might be complications."
the dressing room was empty when emma came in. she knew the series was over. the show couldn't possibly survive that kind of bad publicity. little emma with a gutter mouth! no way. but she didn't feel disappointed. more than anything, she felt relief. she pulled off her baseball cap and began taking her hair out of its twin ponytails. maybe now, she could be normal.
emma glanced at the clock. 6pm. that was usually when her mom or sid gave her that tablet to swallow. she was surprised not to see them, but she chalked it up to all the fuss about her on-camera gaffe.
as emma sat on one of the room's comfortable easy chairs, she took off the sneakers that were part of little emma's costume. just then-- she felt an odd twinge in her chest. over-excitement, she thought. perhaps her heart was racing.
but no. this felt like something was pushing against her breastbone. something soft and pliable, yet strong and substantial. what was going on here?
she stood up, startled. her chest was swelling in a most alarming way. first, it pulled her overalls up, until it looked like she was wearing shorts. then, her breasts started spilling out of the "bib" part of the garment. the rigid denim fabric and the metal clasps were digging into curves her body never had before. it was downright painful.
emma hurriedly undid the overalls and tossed them aside. her breasts were not only growing outward-- their fullness was expanding rapidly. her baggy long-sleeved t-shirt now looked like a deliberately sexy midriff top.
emma broke into a sly smile and walked over to her full-length mirror. damn! she was everything that she'd been waiting for these many years. hot, sexy... and even bigger-busted than her top-heavy mother.
god, does every girl go through this when they hit puberty? emma wondered to herself. she knew this must be unusual... but she didn't care. she reveled in the new image she saw in the mirror. any man that didn't want to fuck this must be made of stone.
she began prancing around, trying to develop some kind of sexy walk. it turned out to be easy, because her new upper-body bulk changed her center of gravity so drastically that sexy was the only way she could walk.
emma felt a terrific wetness between her legs. a less worldly young girl might have feared she was wetting herself. but emma's years of denied puberty made her painfully aware of her own sexuality, so she knew immediately what was happening. she was simply incredibly turned on.
she tore off her pink panties and grabbed a studio towel, imprinted with the show's logo. emma almost laughed out loud. "everything happens to emma", the towel read. boy, truer words were never spoken.
she shoved the towel under her to soak up the abundant juices as she sat back down on the easy chair. she tore off the t-shirt, which was now functioning more like a scarf, as her startlingly enormous breasts rested on her torso for all to see.
oh, my fucking god, she thought to herself. she jammed four fingers into her soaked pussy and hefted one huge breast with her other hand. i am so goddam horny right now, she thought....
...that the next man that comes through that door is going to be in for the surprise of his life.
as she tried in vain to wrap her lips around one hardened nipple, there was a knock on the door.
"yes?" said emma, surprised to hear her girlish squeak replaced by a sensous and throaty growl.
"emma?" she recognized the voice of sid, the studio head.
she smiled devilishly and did her best imitation of little emma's immature tones.
"come on in, buddy!"
"aw, emma, i'm sorry about what happened," sid began, without even looking at her. "i know you must be... holy christ!" he stopped short at the vision of raw, dripping, and big-breasted sex that lay in front of him.
"come here," she purred. "i always knew you were a big dick. now i wanna see for myself."
sid was surprisingly adept at walking and tearing off his pants at the same time. "baby, i want some of that!" he shouted lustily.
"no--don't stand in front of me," admonished emma. "i want to save room for a few others. stand at the side of my head. that way i can just turn and slurp!"
sid didn't need an engraved invitation. he eagerly fed his manhood to his former number one[censored]star.
just then, there was another knock at the door.
emma pulled her mouth away and shushed sid. once again, she spoke in little emma's childish tones. "who is it?"
"it's dr. allen," said the doctor. "is that you, emma? your mother says that you stopped your medication today. do you need anything?"
"i'll bet you can just imagine what i need, doctor," called emma, her voice dropping several octaves. "come on in!"
dr. kevin allen knew what to expect, but still-- he couldn't help but be startled by the sight of the newly ripe emma. "oh-- my-- god," he said.
"shut up and come here, doc," emma purred. "let's see you out of those cold lab whites."
ethics-shethics, thought the doctor, as he approached her. this looked too good to pass up.
when he was completely naked, he stood in front of her.
"dr. allen, have you had my mother?" emma asked.
"yes," the doctor admitted.
"i'm better," smiled emma. "take that juicy drumstick of yours and play some percussion on the bouncy tops of my newly humungous boobies! then when you can't stand it anymore... fuck 'em!"
neither did the doctor need printed directions! as both men poked and prodded emma, there was yet another knock on the door.
"yes?" called emma. she was getting pretty good at imitating her former self.
"honey, it's brad. 'daddy'! can i come in?" asked her fellow actor.
"brad, you don't know how long i've waited for you to come in," smiled emma.
as brad opened the door, emma abruptly pushed sid out and the doctor away. she cupped her amazing breasts as best she could and held them out as an offering to brad.
"feel like... 'jug-heading', baby?" she whispered.
as brad undressed and got into place, emma reached for the doctor's cock and treated him to a hand-job. she then resumed sucking sid. even with her mouth full, she couldn't help but break into a wide grin.
yes, the diminutive and adorable star of everything happens to emma was gone.
but little emma was getting one hell of a going-away party.
rate this story at bea!
see existing ratings