Look Out!

Development and Research by Candiddingdongs

JS timed his return from the Far East to coincide with the start of the Sighting Season, that magical time when spring turns to summer and every living thing seems to blossom before our eyes.

When writing, some women don't put a dot over the letter i, they put a little circle...

...and it is said that such women love to show off their tits.

Are these the same women who hold their forearms out sideways when they walk? In this position the palms of the hands face forwards, and the chest is gently expanded.

Warning, don't try walking like this; you'll get some very strange looks....

Quick, she's seen you looking! Now's the chance to get in there and ask a few questions....

Okay, it's just a theory — but you're welcome to it if you were looking for a subject for a learned thesis....

Approach the lady with your clipboard at the ready, leer at her with sickening sincerity and say,

"Excuse me, ma'am, I couldn't help noticing your sticking-out forearms. I wonder if you'd mind writing your name on this piece of paper?
Well, hello, Titania!"

While this intercourse is taking place, you have the opportunity to study another phenomenon at close quarters, and possibly to answer another question of vital importance....

We'd be able to count the hooks if she'd just keep still for a minute....

What is it that holds that shirt together at the front? Is it a row of little hooks and eyes, like a bra? And if so, how
many are hooked up?

The answer seems to be six hooks
out of an available total of 15.

Most of the stress is borne by
the uppermost hook of the six,
with gradually decreasing load
on each of the next five.

Once below that point, we are
safely beneath the swell of the
bosom and there is little point in
fastening any more hooks, unless
it is to keep out the chill May breeze.

The aerospace industry has brought us exciting new materials....

Are there any stress engineers among our readers who would care to offer a few dozen pages of calculations?

There's just one more question: how
can the lady see what she's doing
when she hooks herself into her
shirt? The last thing she wants
is to get the right hooks with
the wrong eyes.

Maybe she has someone there
to lend a hand. If not, we are
sure there would be no shortage
of willing volunteers.

If you want to see ten more ladies just like this every single week, in glorious wobbling motion, you really do need to treat yourself to a Candid Ding Dongs subscription.

Maybe it isn't a shirt at all, it's a body paint job....

that shirt's gonna explode!