Hello readers. Mai Pehn Rai hasn't been seen in quite a while. Without the requisite amount of inspiration, the column doesn't get done and doesn't make it to the web. So, after lacking a Muse for a long period, which shall be called the hiatus, followed by a long vacation, which shall be called the vacation, we are finally back, and, as we return, someone else has called it a day. Of course, I am talking about the end to the TWG Era.

Wasn't it glorious?

Beginning two years and a couple of months ago, a guy who became known as TW started to upload pictures of his ex-girl friend to the Users' Gallery at the BEA. Immediately, these photos became a sensation and an anxiously anticipated event. For most of the last 26 months, it was two pictures uploaded every Sunday evening. Most of us saw the pictures early Monday morning because we wanted to start the week with 'another glimpse' and we could not wait. Monday Night Football and Ally McBeal ran a distant second and third to the Monday Ritual Download.

Was TW a Svengali, or just an incredibly lucky lad? We never got a handle on him because he never addressed any questions sent his way, and he never spoke or revealed anything about himself in the Forum. She never spoke to us, and Her face was never revealed. As time passed, as her following grew, so too did the mystique. Who was she? Where did she live? Do you believe the size of those breasts? All of these questions became popular mantras chanted repeatedly by her fans.

Rumors and speculations rode into town, and silently left without resolution. Time passed, and one thing was certain: on Mondays, we'd have our TWG fix. And the mystery continued right up to a little more than a few weeks ago. But now it's over. Never to be seen again. At least that's what the current situation might lead us to believe.

To celebrate and commemorate the wondrous and mysterious TWG, I asked some luminaries in the world of Big Breasts Webmasters, to stop by Mai Pehn Rai's back porch and talk about the phenomenal TWG. From the west coast of the USA, we have Chili Palmer, keeper of the flame, librarian of an outrageous stack of stories to get you, me, and anyone's libido going, and he has the largest free collection of morphs to be found anywhere on the web. From across the pond, also known as the Atlantic Ocean, we have the fabulous Al The Editor, that indefatigable author of hundreds if not thousands of breast-related adventures and Webmaster/Publisher/Author of R & D, known all over the world as the longest-running webzine devoted exclusively to breasts. Not surprisingly, we asked the Owner of the Breast Expansion Archive (BEA), a huge repository of all sorts of breast-related material, to join the discussion. The BEA being the point of origin of the TWG pictures on the web, Owner was happy to participate. Our final panelist, Scotty, comes to us from Denmark. He is the Webmaster of Hooters.dk, the home of the world's largest free website for breast lovers.

JustMeMike: I am basically just the guy in the middle. Situated between LA and London, we have New York, which is where I live, from where I recruit authors for BEhavior, where I write for Al's R & D and, like Chili, I was one of the original five guys who got Behavior off and running on Owner's BEA website, where I have been a member since September, 1997. So without further delay, let this summit conference begin....

JustMeMike: Let start this off with a question for Al. In your six-year run as Editor-In-Chief and Head Typesetter for the vast R & D Publishing Empire, can you compare the TWG Phenomenon to anything else that has passed before your eyes?

Al The Editor: Its most significant feature has been its staying power. TW has apparently adhered to a plan from the very start. He put out a story and stuck to it, then released his pictures two by two right up to the end. You have to hand it to him for staying power and self-discipline. Shall I answer the question now? In a word: No!

JustMeMike: As the BEA will complete its 4th full year later this summer, Owner, can you offer up some thoughts on the TWG phenomenon.

Owner: I really can't. I've never seen anything like it. I never thought TWG would become such a phenomenon and I never imagined that TW had as many pictures of her as he did. It was great to log in every Monday and get a new TW picture.

JustMeMike: How about you Scotty?

Scotty: Yes - we had several impostors try do the same thing as TW - but not comparable, at all.

JustMeMike: [Nods his head in agreement... and gestures toward Chili] Please compare the TWG to any other model that you think is comparable.

Chili Palmer: There's really no comparable model out there, at least from a truly amateur point of view. You had a small frenzy with the Pam & The Bossman pix, and of course, Diane Poppos and her "ex-husband," but nothing is really comparable to TWG's appeal. I'd say only the emergence of Chelsea Charms has excited and stimulated the big tit crowd to the same or a greater degree.

JustMeMike: Apples and Oranges, as one is a professional and one isn't, as you said. On the other hand, it's Melons and Melons, if you are talking about size. Al?

Al The Editor: I can't think of any model, with or without a boob job, that has such a totally unfashionable figure. Look at the state of her: her bra comes down to her bellybutton, her tits hang over the waistband of her jeans like a sack of King Edwards tied up with string. And she's fucking gorgeous. Scotty?

Scotty: SaRenna Lee, Chelsea Charms...

Owner: [Pauses, a bit perplexed, before answering] I'm not really sure that I would compare her to anyone else. I've never taken a look at her and thought, "Wow, she looks like [model x]." I think she has her own unique look. Although we'll never know with the face blurred.

JustMeMike: Guys, what is your personal view about TWG's insistence that her identity be concealed?

Scotty: It seems like a total fake - but no one is absolutely sure of it.

Al The Editor: Going back to that longevity thing, the phenomenon even outlasted the tasteless 'Pam' shots and all those well-meaning efforts to provide TW's Girl with a face. Just imagine if the final picture in the genuine TW series had shown her face clearly. Paradoxically, I think, this might have left people feeling cheated, or, at the very least, let down in some undefinable way. Maybe she wasn't his EX-girl at all. Maybe the two of them were in on the whole thing, enjoying it, reading all the stuff that was said about her. (They read it in bed, of course.)

Chili Palmer: More power to her. She has every right to dictate how these pictures would be viewed, knowing full well once they got on the net, they would be around forever. I cannot understand why people feel she has an obligation to show anything other than what she already has.

Owner: Well, I think that even if photos of her face were posted, her identity would STILL be concealed. Unless she has her name, address and phone number tattooed on her head, no one would ever find out who she really is. She'd just be one of the many faces on the Internet.

JustMeMike: Actually not quite a face on the 'net. I rather liked the uncertainty and the mystery myself, and we all understand the need for privacy. Okay guys, let's go in a different direction: Al, to the best of your knowledge, given your close relationship with the famed author Axolotl, has he used the TWG as a model for any of his fabled fictional big bust heroines?

Al The Editor: Axolotl's stories are 90% dialogue, and he hears his characters in his head more than he sees them. No one has ever heard TW's Girl say a word, although I'm sure we all like to imagine that she enjoys a good laugh. If she'd like to call my number, I'll report further.

JustMeMike: Chili, Owner: you both deal with a plethora of writers and morphers. Have any of your contributors brought you anything that was TWG-centered, or evidence that the photos were digitally enhanced?

Chili Palmer: Richard O. Steele has referenced her in his stories, but I know of no one else who has based any stories on her. Friday did the best morphs of her, and his Alley Baggett face implant morph is still sent to me 2-3 times a year as "proof" of her real identity.

Scotty: Hell, yes. At least 4 people tried to con me with fake pictures.

Owner: No, no one has ever sent me proof. I'd be very surprised if I found out that TWG was morphed. I think most of us believe she is 100% real.

JustMeMike: Has Vast Magazine or any of its successors made any attempts to lure the TWG into revealing her identity in exchange for vast sums of pounds sterling? Or have you tried to coax her into displaying some more 'revealing' kind of pictures?

Al The Editor: VAST Magazine, sadly, is long out of production. [Heaves a sigh, pauses to gather himself before starting the rest of his answer.] My God, (she's a) Big Girl, Though (MGBGT) is also out of print, its editor and reporters having moved on to publish a football (soccer) fanzine called Cum on You Whites (Solid at the Back, Plenty of Movement Up Front and Always One Man in the Box). Interesting, perhaps, was an unconfirmed report from one of our Japanese contacts that TW's Girl had been approached by a reporter and photographer, asking her if she had any younger sisters.

JustMeMike: Chili, have you tried to do a deep pockets maneuver on TWG?

Chili Palmer: No. That would be silly.

Owner: Ha! No, we sure haven't. Although if TWG or TW would like a gallery at the BEA, I'd be more than willing to give him/her one. I'd be nice if we could have a permanent collection of the TWG pictures online. And I'd make sure to keep his/her identity secret as well -- if that's important.

Scotty: Nope. WE will never do a thing like that - unless we are forced to.

JustMeMike: So the mystery and the mystique will become legendary. And speaking of legendary, has the TWGirl's stacked figure, that will be discussed evermore, been a part of any personal fantasies of yours? If so, please give us some details.

Chili Palmer: [Winking] Look, once you've fucked Holly Body, Heather Lee, Letha Weapons and Kimberly Kupps, among others, you don't need to fantasize about a girl like TW's. Sorry to be so blunt, but you asked.

JustMeMike: No problem, Chili. Al?

Al The Editor: Yes and no. In other words: yes, she has; and no, I'm not about to tell you the details.

Scotty: Ohhhh yes. Hell, man - if I had a girl like that - today - I would be proud of her. I had [one] once, and I blew it. Now I have [one] again, and I learned the lesson.

Owner: Yes and no. Most of my fantasy time is expended on wishing my girlfriend would expand to TWG's size. So, in a way, yes. LOL!

JustMeMike: Would you care to take a guess about which is her preferred mode of dressing? [At this point, Owner's cell phone issues a series of beeps and bell tones. A few terse sentences into the phone, and then, with a click and a wink, he's off to attend to another BEA issue.] Al? Let's hear from you on this one: how do you prefer TWG to dress?

Al The Editor: Really s-l-o-w-l-y.

JustMeMike: I meant, what kind of clothing, Al.

Al The Editor: I knew what you meant. After all, poor TWG couldn't look elegant if she tried, and in fact, that's a great part of her charm. It's not lack of dress sense, it's as if she can't ever quite manage to disguise her huge bust -- or she can't quite bring herself to try...

JustMeMike: Fair enough, Al. Let's give Chili a go at this one, can you describe which of all the outfits worn by TWG is your favorite?

Chili Palmer: This is an easy one. None. She has the worst fashion sense of any woman I've ever seen, outside of a trailer park. Like Steve Martin said in My Blue Heaven, "It's the shoes. The shoes are tragic." Of course, the rest of her outfits weren't much better. [Chili grins and sends a wink in Al's direction]

Scotty: Nude! But that is never gonna happen. Maybe in a Bra, but I am not making any demands.

JustMeMike: [I'll have to answer then. After all we need a good excuse to give you readers a break by inserting a few pictures.] I think she has a tough time finding clothes that fit. But I like that in a woman. Me, I liked the Black Sweater, the White Pullover with a small blue pattern, and the Red Sailboat Tee Shirt.

JustMeMike: Gentlemen: You are brassiere designers. Please describe how the TWG bra appears in your design.

Chili Palmer: As long as it's black lace, everything else is superfluous. Al...

Scotty: [Jumps in ahead of Al] A see-through so it looks like she is nude - from a distance you cannot tell if she is nude or not. That is my design.

Al The Editor: I'd have to consult the experts on this. They can all fit her from stock, of course.

JustMeMike: [This is an aside to you readers. The following personages were not actually invited to the roundtable, but their voices seemed to emerge from within Al. I swear that his lips did not move.]

Miss Twizzell: "None of this nonsense with front fastenings. Lots of hooks and they've got to be at the back. Plenty of padding under the shoulder straps. Soft lining to the cups, and real lace to make you feel like a woman..."

Mrs Danby: "Have a cup of tea, dear. Now take that thing off. Made in America, was it...?"

Miss Clitress: [silently she clutches at the soggy crotch of her black stretch pants and - clearly - is not available for comment.]

JustMeMike: Err, thank you all. And now, our penultimate question: You have been awarded a 'date' with TWG. She has taken a fancy to you. [Don't we all wish this were true!] Where would you take her and what would you say to TWGirl immediately after "Hello..."?

Al The Editor: She's just turned up in jeans and an overloaded sweater. Somewhere where she wouldn't feel underdressed. Somewhere not too far from home. Somewhere where people wouldn't stare at a girl with such a blurred face. "Hello. Duh. I'd have known you anywhere..."

Chili Palmer: Sorry, no tips for the masses on this one.

Scotty: I am a minor fan of your chest - don't let this come between us - let's go see Copenhagen by night first - then we can decide whether it's worth struggling for or not. You see, darling, Big Breasts are no rare thing in DK - you would seem pretty normal compared to the chicks I usually date in town...But, if it were me and you - I would give you the moon.

JustMeMike: [Grinning] This is our last question, guys. If you were fortunate enough to spend an entire night with TWG, what would you prepare for breakfast on the following morning?

Scotty: Ohh - I would prepare... nooo - ok, here it comes: Lubricated dick in a bandage - and why ? 'Cuz we fucked all night - so it was needed - I would unpack it and use it again and again - that is the way we do it in DK - sorry US - but this is the way we make love - we do it till we crash - not Cruz we are tired - but Cruz we bleed.

Chili Palmer: You mean, what would she prepare for me, don't you?

JustMeMike: Actually, I'd cook the breakfast, myself, just to keep her in the bed... Al?

Al The Editor: [Sighs] I'm afraid she'd have to get her own breakfast. Properly fed and fortified, ready for the new day, she could then set about the arrangements for my funeral.

	IN OUR HEARTS FOREVER

Something tells me that this session should come to a conclusion right about now. Thank you to all the participants. Fortunately for each of us that spent some time talking about TW and TWG, we can always hope that somewhere, someday, we might just find ourselves in front of a monumentally structured woman who is, in fact, TWG. The same might be true for any of you readers. Until that day occurs, or if it remains just a dream, don't despair. Just say, "oh well" - or, as we like to say - Mai Pehn Rai!