TRUX TRUMPS, PUMPS RUMPS
new-style assonant BE by TRUX

QUID? ARS GRATIA ARTIS?
pseudolatinate drivel by ST STUFFIT

BOOBS DO NOT REALLY EXIST ANYWAY
irrefutable logic by FRENZY

BLUSTERING BUTTOCKS: The End
soap enema by PLAYDOUGH DERRIERE

ADMIRING ASS IN AFGHANISTAN
a definitive guide by SHELLY BUMMER

CASTRATION VS. CONVERSION IN AFGHANISTAN
first-hand experience by ALI BUMMER

MY PEN R MIA PE MAI PHE (whatever) NIXON: Boob or Bum?
18 minutes of tapeworm uncovered by ADJUSTMYMIKE

BUGGERY IN BULGARIA
report on the division of war booty by GOOD GRAVY

REAR-GUARD EXPANSIONISM: The Decadent Stage of Capitalism
dialectic by V. I. LENIN

IONNIC'S COLUMN: Architecture of the High Colonic period
art history by IONNIC

AIN'T MISBEHAVIN'
biopsies by THE STAFF

OSCULATE RECTUM MEUM
endfold by NAHPETS / morph by FRANCIS OF ASSEASY