ANIMATION
gonZo |
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MODEL
Pandora Peaks |
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SOURCE
unavailable |
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SAYONARA
has been described as a recluse, a libertarian, and even as
a misanthrope, perhaps for living too long in a cave, and is
frequently asked how things are going, for which there can only
be speculation and wonderment, till word comes down from the
mountaintop. And until then Sayonara's two most favorite questions
are likely to remain, "Why?" and, "How do you know?" |
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DDDAVE
has ignored repeated warnings to submit a brief bio, and will
be unable to renew his Bikini Inspector's license until he does
so. |
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FRANZ
is the F of F&K, the hard-working Italian morpher couple
Franz75 & Katia, and has always had a big mouth. Since he wore
short pants, he has spent most of his time busting his schoolmates'
balls with his ideas on such things as the Existence of the
Supernatural, the Meaning of Life, Immortality, and Tits. Today,
few things have changed (apart from his pants): having specialized
in the study of formal logic, he started to morph, and he claims
he won't stop until he has calculated the golden section of
boobs. Feeling sure he'll never find it, Chili Palmer agreed
to host his works. Franz lives on in the vain illusion that
what he does is art, and that one day he'll have his own gallery
in the Peggy Guggenheim Museum. His friends are too kind to
tell him the truth. |
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Columnist
MYCROFT (age 51) disappeared in 1993 after claiming to have
discovered the unofficial porn collection of the Vatican. He
hasn't been the same since he returned two years ago. Wrote
a book on brainwashing techniques. Tries to give up his longtime
habit of sleep to have a second life at night. |
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ST
STEPHAN has some bad news, and some other bad news which has
turned into good news. The bad news is that his progress towards
true sainthood is gravely imperiled by numerous local and interweb
distractions. The other bad news is that his penchant for huge
breasts and his intercourse with the Breast Expansion Archive
was recently discovered when a brother came upon the Archbishop,
uh, enjoying - flagrante delicto - Stephan's copious collection.
Well, since it was the Archbishop himself, the upshot is that
Stephan has been named missionary to big-breast lovers everywhere,
with residence at the BEA. And like any good missionary, he
must be fluent in the language of his flock, viz. big boobs,
as a means of bringing you to the Bosom of the Church (see?).
So, gratia Deo, expect more memorable mammary material from
His Holiness, but rather more directed towards the True Faith
than of late (cf. the Thanksgiving and Christmas/St Stephen's
Day contributions). And rest assured that St Stephan intends
to derive complete fulfillment from his missionary position.
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PLATO
VOLTAIRE, longtime writer of cop stories involving well-endowed
female officers, is currently taking a working vacation on the
planet Outback. He's doing research for an upcoming movie that
will involve two of his most popular characters, Lynnae and
June. Part of the research will involve participation in the
Sea of Derby beach scene. Since bikini volleyball and wet t-shirt
competitions are held on a regular basis on the Sea of Derby
beaches, it will be quite some time before we'll hear from Plato
again. |
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We
at BEhavior welcome your comments and questions, but just in
case that creates some sort of performance anxiety that might
prevent you from writing to us, GONZO would like to reassure
you that he really doesn't give a rat's ass what you think.
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