MyCroft still suffers from what he calls "temporary literary impotence", so he came over to me last Friday with an unlabeled bottle and a proposition. The bottle turned out to contain the incredible moonshine grappa that he buys in a small (and most likely illegal) private distillery near Udine, Italy. The proposition was, the grappa is mine, and I write an article for him. We're pals, but he can't write a word right now, so, after some bargaining, we agreed to add a dinner at Roberto's and that Miles Davis album. Don't call me greedy - I'm a hard-working man, and MyC can afford it. If they ever develop Viagra for Writers, I'm sure it'll be within his price range.

I am, as some of you may know, in the graphics & design business, and in my spare time I've been doing a few renderings of the kind of top-heavy ladies that the BE Archive is all about. I use MetaCreation's Poser 3, and, no, this time I will not complain about its high-brow graphics-user interface... nor about the few parameters for bust size that the original Zygote models allow - after all, not everybody shares that little (or should I say big?) fantasy of ours. Some guys do produce a lot of additional parameters ( or morph-targets), and kudos to all of them: the only remaining problem is the size of polygons in the chest area - really big chests tend to be a little blocky in the original rendering. I usually solve it with a program called PhotoShop: after all, I was a morpher before I discovered the world of virtual gals.

No.

My general problem with Poser is what I call the Barbie Effect.

Well, there must be a market for such girls, and in fact most of the erotic pictures at 3-D places like Renderosity and the like feature them - without the Busty Dusty additions, of course.

I must say I never use those models, I just don't look upon them as erotic subjects. They're kids, skinny ones, and they don't turn me on. I usually increase the whole body by 20% and reduce the length of the limbs and rump by 18% to get a more realistic looking body, and, for personal reasons, increase the hip measurements by 20%.

The result is a mixture of Nitrane's SaRenna Lee model and my girlfriend Hella (fig.2), a general setting I often use in my pictures for the BEA (and one of those girls even made it into SCORE).

(fig 2)

I don't want to be misunderstood as a "nats-only fan". I've got no gripe about a whole lot of silicone on a frame that can support it. I practically adore Colt45 or the late Busty Dusty. Their hips-to-shoulders ratio is almost perfect, not to speak of their primary assets. But my all-time morphing favorite, Keisha, is often listed in the "plumpers" department. What a frame! And her implants are practically tiny compared to, let's say Minka's...No, no disparagement of Minka. But I confess, I like the upside-down series of her...looks like they forgot to switch on that sci-fi gravity compensator she usually wears...

Gravity. It does not exist in Poserland. That means whatever you enlarge just bulges out. I've seen a very impressive video by S. Court demonstrating this ballooning effect. Sorry, not my slice of pie. I go to Poserland to bring fantasies into reality. And I remember a calculation in the old-style BEA Forum about the weight of really big implants, 2500 cc. That's the sort Wendy Whoppers had removed. If I recall aright, the saline version of implants of that caliber was about 5 pounds each. That's a pretty heavy balloon... and I prefer to add at least the illusion of that weight to my rendered models.

Of course it's ironic if someone like me talks about "realistic models". All my virtual gals in reality would be cases of skin rupture and breast reduction. But somehow I can't forget the beauties that triggered and fed my breast fetish: They were (and are) usually naturals, and most of them - the unforgettable ones - were a bit on the plumper side. I've mentioned Keisha, but what about

(fig 3)

Erika, - fig 3 - a lady I met some twenty years ago in Cologne? Can you imagine the soft sliding movement of those plump yet muscular thighs?

MyCroft remarked (he can't write, but he can still talk) that I'm in the middle of a "plumper phase". To be completely accurate, the term he used was "elephant".

Well, yes, I admit I'm on fat at the moment. The inspiration, not to keep you in suspense, is fellow artist Henderson. He runs a site called Kafenwar, a pay site to be sure, but the samples I saw made me run for my credit card.

It was only ten bucks for a month, but I've downloaded thirty of the cutest fantasy plumpers I've ever seen.

I was so involved, I broke my vow to refrain from morphing...

First, for obvious reasons, I combined two of Henderson's gals. I sent him a copy, he replied I could publish it. Here it is:

The second one is a real morph: BE'ed and shrunk and elongated, plus new legs: (Actually he hasn't consented to publish this one yet, but I think he can use the publicity)

And all this happens when my beloved Hella decides to extend her Mayo diet for yet another week...

A warm thank you to St.Stephan, the saint, who'll surely spend hours correcting my antique English. He's the man behind the EuroWriters for BEHavior, and responsible for their astounding eloquence. Wish he could heal MyCroft's writers' cramp...