Hello, All. I first wrote this article for the last issue of BEhavior, as you will be able to tell from some of the references I make below. It started out with a harsh disclaimer about making everyone who reads it think on the subjects I talk about. I have removed that disclaimer, because if you are reading this, then you will think on it anyway. I urge you to tell others about this article and encourage them to read it, not because I am a great writer or wish to have my ego stroked by people talking about it, but because I feel there are important things in it that affect us all! Please post your thoughts in the forum.

This may not be a happy article, but it is an important one, at least to me. I have been moved to rewrite some of it by the unfair attack on the BEA by its last ISP, and by all the stuff going on in the forum right now.

Death in the tarot sometimes stands for an ending and new beginning; at other times, it is just an ending. Death has been a prevalent part of our lives, and is not something that many people like to contemplate. My birthday this year was haunted by Death: the school shooting. And yes, I was born on the same day as an individual who was most influential, though not for the good of humanity (except that the world banded together to stop him). I am speaking of Hitler, a man who caused the deaths of millions of people. That was an ending with no new beginning, unless you believe in heaven. One has to step back and wonder why these [censored] killed other [censored] who picked on them. I was what could be termed a geek in school, and was picked on incessantly, and while I may have daydreamed about making my tormentors pay, I did not go out and kill them! Are the family values by which we raise children suffering so? Why?

Bad Irving wrote of a busty friend who decided that she needed a breast reduction in order to be treated like a normal person. Death of her large breasts gave birth to smaller ones so that she could be happy, but it did not turn out that way. The combination of lost fat cells, confused metabolism, and poor eating habits caused her to gain extra weight on the rest of her frame. She now suffers through the death of her happiness with her new body-image, and through the cruelty of people who make fun of her for being overweight.

When did Humanity suffer the Death of being polite and kind? Is mankind inherently cruel, and if so, does it not behoove us to overcome these failings and better ourselves?

There seems to be a disturbing trend in the general attitudes of the patrons at BEA and other places. One would think that the people of a civilized world could be polite to each other, but that does not seem to be the case. Let us look at forum matters. We had an excellent thread on "who we are", with over 50 posts (not counting bonfire's accidental triple post :) ). This is absolutely fantastic: a whole community of people sharing their lives with each other! The unity of this amazing and wonderful thing fills me with happiness.

Then there is the negative side: anyone who is considered an outsider may be slammed and flamed, along with anyone who shows any attitude against the BEA,. This also works in reverse: you may be blacklisted because you are from the BEA. (At least it has happened that way in the past.) Yet, when you look past the personal preferences of the individual you're talking with, when you look behind the words, you will find a person no different than you. Take away any ethnic background and skin color, and you will find we are all the same underneath. We laugh, cry, get our feelings hurt, experience joy, and when cut ,do we not bleed?

Why, why must people be cruel to each other? Do you want people to be cruel to you? How difficult is it to get a point across without being derogatory and belittling the people who disagree with you?

Let us touch on our attitudes about individuals. SexyCyberCanuck a.k.a. Captain Canucklehead, Buzz T Lover, and Cappy (to name a few of his handles), came to BEA a bit over a year ago, and burst upon the scene with derogatory and inflamatory words about the BEA on his lips. He was fired upon by some of the regulars, and departed for a time. He apologized for that, and has avoided certain questions since then, like a good politician. Since his reappearance, he has been hounded by Mammeister, who gets into it with him every time, and will not let him forget his past history. Now, is it not possible that SCC has really changed? Maybe he has, and then again, maybe not. I know I am a different person than I was 5 years ago, or even 1 year ago. Have we given him (and others) the benefit of the doubt?

Well, it seems that he may not have changed at all, to judge by the recent "Get rid of Cappy" thread. I would really like to know why he insists on starting flame wars and posting in a combative manner; does he thrive on the conflict? There are people in our world who thrive on conflict, and this is not a good thing. Why must they cause trouble for others, and for themselves? Don't you all think voting to remove someone from the BEA is a bit much, even if started by Cappy himself? It is disheartening to go to a place to enjoy good company, and to really only find stress and hate there. If that is Cappy's only reason for coming to the BEA, I feel very sorry for him. His life must be terribly empty and barren. Maybe his life will get better, and he will be a happier person.

Have you ever wondered why there are so few women (that we know of ) present in the BEA forum? Well, the news is they are there, lurking but not speaking. Why don't they speak, you might wonder? The answer is simple: fear and stress. Would you post to a place where you will be hassled to tell everyone your measurements, or receive countless e-mails from guys wanting to get to "know you" in a personal way. And how about the occasional stalker? These are valid things to fear and/or stress over. So ask yourselves: why are women treated this way? Are they not more than a pair of tits? This falls under the subject above: we're all the same.

Fear and stress will kill you faster in this life than anything else! Fear stops us from doing things we might enjoy, holds us back from growth, and eats away at the foundation of our being. Stress makes us lose sleep and have poor digestion, causes physical problems, invokes mental anguish, and simply makes our lives more difficult. We have plenty to stress over in this complicated world of ours. Rent, bills, putting food on the table, staying healthy, the wellbeing of loved ones, staying employed, the car etc... Don't you think it would be nice, when we log on, to enjoy our little fetish community? To not be assaulted in the ways that you can be assaulted online? Think how much more enjoyable it is when you have no online stress adding to a world that already has enough. It surprises me that people wonder why other people go postal. The answer is too much stress, more than they are able to handle. So try to live a stress-free life, and make the lives around you a little less stressed. Maybe people will return the favor.

Are you causing others undue stress, and are they causing you undue stress? Why?

There is only one stress that we like to enjoy in life, and that is the stress that is placed upon clothes that are too small by a bountiful bosom.

Our meanderings have brought us to many important subjects that are weighty in substance and may not be taken as happy or uplifting. Do not despair! All of us possess the amazing ability to fight against that which tries to kill us, belittle us ,and destroy our hope. We have the power to stand up against all odds and win! Our strength not only lies within us, but in all people, and there is nothing we can not accomplish when we work together for a common goal. When that goal is the betterment of ourselves, and through us all of humanity, amazing things can be accomplished. Hope is one of the greatest things we have. If you do not have hope, how can you live? Don’t lose your hope. Share it with others, and maybe it will be returned to you. I will hope that Bad Irving’s lady-friend will overcome her current hurdle in life, and go on to be an even better person than who she was. May happiness be hers, and all of ours, for this life has too much sadness and sorrow as it is.

I may not have made myself clear about WHY all of this upsets and depresses me. The reason is painfully simple: life is very short and this world, with our society the way it is, has problems that cause many negative things to affect us in many negative ways. This saddens me, because we should all be happy and helpful to our fellow persons, and vice versa. There is too much tragedy in our world, and we should do all we can to stop it, even if it is only in the small places, like the BEA.

Should we not do what we can to make life happy and good for all? Don’t we all want to be happy? If not, why?

We will not go quietly into the Dark; we will fight against the Long Night with our last breath, and we will not be conquered.

I leave you with this Ancient Egyptian blessing: