I turned
49 this past Sunday.
Jeez-Lou-weez!
Nearly
a half-century on this rock in space... And,
like Rodney Dangerfield, I still get no respect.
Take the
birthday party Miz Judge Oaf threw for me. Lots of “gag” (really!)
gifts from my so-called friends. Most were merely tasteless:
- The
gift certificate for “Hair Club for Men”,
- The
half-empty bottle of year-old Viagra from my in-laws (Pops
said he sampled a couple just to see if the potency was
still good. It was.), and...
- The
pièce de résistance: a used colostomy kit from my
erstwhile golfing buddies.
Ha-ha
guys. REAL funny! (I got the last laugh, though. It’s amazing
how Chocolate Ex-Lax just seems to blend right into Betty
Crocker Double Fudge Brownies with nary a trace!)
Anyway,
the party went on into the wee hours of the morning, (as they
seem to do up here in the piney woods), with the music getting
louder in inverse proportion to the number of full bottles
of hooch left in my liquor cabinet. After the fifth drunken,
hair-raising chorus of “Bad to the Bone”, I decided to take
a breather from all the festivities. Grabbing a half- filled
bottle of Dickel, I headed out the back door and into the
warm North Carolina darkness. I’ve got a summer house down
in the hollow behind my place. Well, it’s more of a screened-in
covered deck than a house. Miz Judge Oaf and I often use it
for sleeping in late summer when the nights get sultry. Adjoining
this is a small building housing my Jacuzzi and sauna. It
was to the latter of the two that I was heading, for a sweat,
and a bit of morose, solitary boozing.
At least,
that was my intention. It turns out that I wasn’t the only
one interested in the summer house that night. Through the
darkness, I could hear the Jacuzzi bubbling and gurgling away
like mad.
Now ordinarily,
I could give two hoots about folks using my stuff, but I want
them to ask first. Besides, I sure didn’t want some drunken
party guest passing out in the Jacuzzi and drowning on me.
This was serious. Booze-fogged, I grabbed the bottle of Dickel
around the neck, and strode forth to administer some rough
justice.
And was
frozen in my tracks by a weak “Help me, please help me, oh
God, somebody help me!” coming from the Jacuzzi.
Galvanised
into action, I dashed round the corner of the building. There
in the Jacuzzi, head just above the water level, eyes wide
with fear, was Kendra, our neighbor’s eighteen-year-old daughter.
“Please
help me, I’m stuck!” pleaded Kendra in a weak voice. I moved
to the controls and switched the tub off. Instantly, the waters
quieted.
“Help,
I’m still stuck! It won’t let go!” whimpered Kendra.
“What
won’t let go?” I replied, perplexed.
“The tub!
It’s got my left titty! Oh God, it hurts so much!” she wailed.
I dropped
my bottle in disbelief, shattering it on the stone patio.
“How in the… hang on, gimme a minute and I ‘ll get you unstuck.”
I flipped the switch to the backwash setting, hit the juice,
and Kendra popped loose, giving a little shriek as she did
so.
“Ohh,
Ohhh, owww, “ moaned Kendra, both hands busily rubbing the
sore appendage. “Thank you, oh, thank you so much. It really
had a hold of me, and I didn’t know how I was going to break
free!”
“Kendra,
would you mind telling me just what you were doing in my Jacuzzi
in the first place?”
Instantly,
Kendra’s look of relief changed to guilt.
“Uh, could
you get me my towel, please? I’m getting really cold”.
“Not until
I get some answers, young lady! You’re on MY property, using
MY Jacuzzi, and I think you owe me an explanation. Just what
the hell is going on here?”
Kendra
started blubbing, “Pu-leez give me my towel!”
“Answers
first, then towel!”
“I’ll
scream!”
“Wont’
work, everybody’s way up the hill, and the music’s too loud.
Anyway, your folks are up there. Maybe I’ll just go have a
word or two with them, and…” Kendra made a grab for her clothes,
but I stamped my foot down on ‘em, and she yanked her hand
away, squealing.
“You’re
mean, you’re sooo mean”, she wailed.
“I’m not
mean, I want some answers, and NOW!”
Still
sniffling, Kendra considered her dilemma. “Promise you won’t
tell my folks?”, she wheedled.
“No promises.
Out with it!”
Kendra,
defeated, heaved a big sigh. “All right, I’ll tell you. But
pleeze don’t tell my folks, okay?”
“Mmmmph”,
I muttered.
Kendra
leaned back against the rim of the tub, still rubbing her
injured left breast under the waves. A ghost of a smile played
across her lips. “Switch the tub back on for me, please? Thanks.”
“My boyfriend
Robbie and I have been using your Jacuzzi the past couple
of weeks, usually when you’re away, or late at night when
nobody’s looking. We just love making love in it.”
“You and
me both, kid,” I said.
“I won’t
let Robbie in my pussy, said Kendra,” ‘cause he won’t use
a condom. “I’d usually jerk or suck him off while he sucked
and played with my boobies, and I’d let one of the Jacuzzi
jets work on my pussy.
“Well,
we had a big fight tonight when we got over here. He stormed
off, and left me here alone and horny as hell. I just had
to do something to get relief, and I remembered the Jacuzzi
nozzles.
“After
I got started, I did some exploring, trying the different
nozzles to see which one gave the best action. That’s when
I found the in-flow pipe.” Kendra sighed as she floating languidly
in the water, smiling at the memory.
“I just
LOVE having my boobies sucked, it always makes me cum harder!”
Anyway, I got the strainer cover off the pipe, got the best
Jacuzzi jet to work on my pussy, and pushed my left boobie
into the inflow. I was surprised how powerful the suction
was. Before I knew it, the thing had me inside it up to ‘here’!
This
accompanied an unveiling of Kendra’s near- perfect, pear-
shaped eighteen- year- old bosom for show- and- tell. “33
D’s” , I mused, almost without thinking, and looked up, guiltily,
to see if she’d heard me.
Kendra,
however, gloriously nude, was sitting un- self- consciously
on the edge of the tub, busily showing how far in her left
breast had been sucked. It looked like a good deal of it,
judging from the angry red ring about halfway up. Her oreo-
sized left nipple was visibly empurpling from the bruising,
punishing suction it had received.
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