THE XTRAORDINARY DR. IVAN

X-Files, X's and O's, X-chromosones, X-rated. Isn't it funny that whenever you see an X describing something, you must immediately reflect upon it? There is something about the letter X that makes you pause. When you want something, you might say, got any eXtras? And there's the Extra edition of the newspaper... and the newsboys hawking their papers by yelling out Xtra!!

No doubt about it, the X factor always captures your attention. In our little corner of the world, what captured the attention of Mai Pehn Rai was a series of images, all of which had file names beginning with XLG. These were the works of Dr. Ivan, known world-wide for producing images of women with monumentally huge breasts. As a fan of Dr. Ivan, I personally e-mailed him at least two years ago to thank him. And he responded.

So it wasn't long ago that Mai Pehn Rai decided to bring the fabulous Dr. Ivan around for a small interview. I've asked him some intriguing questions, and he has been kind enough to offer us some of his history, background, and insights. Excerpts immediately below...

Doc, I believe, at this moment in time, that there have been in excess of two thousand Dr. Ivan images uploaded onto the Web. What is the exact count?

Gosh, is two thousand being TOO excessive? For a man with the world's worst breast fixation, I would say that's not excessive at all. The exact count is a mystery to me, as well. I didn't start the "XLG" numbering system until I had completed about 100 or so of my earliest works. A lot of the pre-XLGs have been misplaced, deleted, or lost in cyberspace. I started using the "XLG" to keep track of my own progress. What little I have recovered has been assigned XLG numbers. Officially there are 2066 XLG's, but that does not include the commissioned work I did for JUGGS Magazine, Honey Cups Magazine and the HotBox.

And how long have you been doing them?

I started creating enhancements (I've always hated the term "morph") when I first logged onto the Internet back in 1994.

Some of us discovered Playboy magazines in our youth, or saw Bill Ward cartoons, or got to see a Russ Meyer movie. What was your first experience?

Well, I grew up in the 60's (the 1960's to be exact), and back then, Playboy magazines were about as rare as teenagers wanting to go to Vietnam. Local stores simply did not carry them. Once in a while, one of the [censored] in the neighborhood would find one under his father's bed. When that happened, there would be a line of other [censored] outside his house longer than the lines waiting to get into Star Wars, or out of Kosovo. Screw the Force! Back then we wanted to see TITS, and Playboy delivered!

Who was your first inspirational model?

I had my first erection while gazing upon the lovely and HUGE bosoms of Ms Cynthia Meyers. It was then that I realized that I was a hopeless TIT fanatic! Now, there have been plenty of tit queens since then, but the one that made the biggest impression was in the early 70's: Ms Roberta Pedon. She was the epitome of womanhood, and has always been the standard in breast excellence. It's a shame that her career was so short. Today her photos have become collector's items.

And what was the most profound influence upon your career as a practitioner of the arts of morphing?

As far as being a practitioner, that really began in the 60's. I use to make drawings of ladies with breasts that would reach the floor. Unfortunately I was not a very good freehand artist, so I would trace photos from newspapers or JC Penney catalogs. (Ah, old JC really had some busty models back then!) One of my favorites was Daisy Mae from the L'il Abner comic strip. Catwoman was another. My pencil would never stop making their titties the size of Texas... or at least New Mexico.

So, it began with crude writing implements and the simple technique of tracing. In Stanley Kubrick's 2001, the movie opens, and the Apes discover their own tools (which are bone fragments). An ape, in his moment of comprehension, hurls the bone into the air --Kubrick jumps the timeline millions of years forward-- and the bone becomes a spaceship. And for Dr. Ivan, the pencil becomes a computer...

It wasn't until the advent of the home computer and the Internet that my enhancement abilities really took root. One day, while discovering all the wonders the newsgroups had to offer, I happened to download my very first "enhanced" image. I never knew who created it, but it was so well done that I actually thought it was real! When I figured out that it was fake, I was immediately obsessed. I had to know how this was done... I had to know how to do this myself. I had to make the world bigger tits! (Hell, am I sounding like Dr Frankenstein, or what?)

Can you remember when your first Dr. Ivan image hit the web? Did you tell anyone?

That was back in 1994. I was not anxious to post my stuff at first, due mostly to the fact that it was crap. (Hey, no ego here!) Let's face it, back then you didn't go to the library and ask the librarian for books on how to use your computer to make big tits. (Well actually, you could ask, but not without getting arrested).

So I had to fumble for hours, days, weeks, and months just to get something that looked halfway decent. It was rough in the beginning, because I didn't know what I needed or how to do it. As many of your readers already know, Microsoft Paint is worthless, and so are most other graphic programs. I did not have a scanner then, so I used whatever images were available from the newsgroups. Unfortunately, the quality was not always the best. It wasn't until I bought a professional scanner for $1000 (ugh, did I mention my fixation problem?) and Adobe Photoshop that I began to have success.

What was the first response?

When I first posted my work on newsgroups, the reaction was immediate. I received quite a few replies from folks who thought my work was great... that was nice. I also got some death threats... that wasn't as nice. (Computer enhanced breasts do not appeal to everyone.) Some of my closest friends were really impressed, and suggested that I "go professional"... offer some sort of service to enhance wives and girlfriends, and make big $$$. I followed their advice, and have yet to see my first $. Yet this was not an entirely wasted effort... a certain Ms Alicia --who is familiar at BEA-- contacted me then, and that was the beginning of a long and professional friendship. (Hi, Alicia!)

What was the inspiration for the name "Dr. Ivan?"

The name originally came from a Woody Woodpecker cartoon from the 1940's. The full name was "Dr Ivan Awfulitch", which I always found to be funny. I used it when I was in college, when I would impersonate certain professors. "Good morning, class," I would yell in a deep Russian accent. "I am Doctor Ivan Awfulitch!" It always got a big laugh. After a while, I became known on campus as Dr Ivan. (Yes, Dr Ivan has a college degree!)

I first found examples of your works on Danni Ashe's HotBox website. I was astounded. How did Danni and Dr. Ivan first pair up?

Well actually, there was a lengthy journey leading up to my association with Ms Ashe. (You may wish to pack a lunch, because this is going to take a while.)

[JustMeMike did in fact take a break at this point, but it was actually breakfast]

I didn't have a web site, so I first started posting my work on the newsgroups. That's where I started making a name for myself, and fan mail came pouring in. Then someone told me of the now legendary ACOTTO site where, to my amazement, most of my work had been stored. Tony Cotto and I never communicated, but it was clear he was a collector of enhanced breasts. In fact, many of my images were turning up in all sorts of web sites. My work was quickly becoming a hot item.

Is, was, and always will be...

After a while, more and more of my fans began encouraging me to go big-time and work for a full-fledged Big Tit Magazine. I was about to send out some of my work when an issue of Score stopped me dead in my tracks. This particular issue introduced the very talented Richard Java to the world. I was humbled by this man's work, and I knew that I was not ready for the big leagues quite yet. So back to the computer I went, with the goal of becoming the next Richard Java. I wrote to Score with all sorts of questions about Richard and his technique, but they never replied. So I took it upon myself to meticulously scrutinize each and every image Richard produced. I even used a magnifying glass to see if I could find any clues to how he did it. Eventually, I figured it out. When I applied the same technique, my work improved tremendously. Now I was ready for national publication... or so I foolishly thought.

Foolish? Not really, Doc... a man can dream, can't he?

I sent copies of my latest creations to every Big Bust magazine I could think of. Most did not reply at all. Hustler's Busty Beauties sent a very nice letter, but said they already had folks in their art department who could do the same. The only magazine to show any interest was JUGGS, and it was not long before I received a letter from its editor, Ms Dian Hanson. Dian was very enthusiastic about my work, and after several months of planning, "Dr Ivan's Breast Enhancement Clinic" was slated to premier in the January '96 issue, but it did not appear until February. Needless to say, I was quite excited.

Unfortunately, this feature was doomed from the very beginning, and I take full blame. Now, the arrangement was that JUGGS would send me photos to enhance, and I would transfer the finished products onto Zip disks and mail them back to JUGGS. The biggest problem encountered was that of compatibility between my equipment and the computers used by JUGGS. I had a PC and they used Macs. One of their staff had to take my disk to Kinko's so they could transfer my work from PC to Mac format. Also, they required my work to be at a very high resolution that took up a tremendous amount of hard drive space. Then there were problems with color: what looked fine on my machine just wasn't coming out on theirs. More technical problems arose until, after 3 issues, JUGGS decided to pull the plug on the feature. I was very disappointed but the bottom line was that my little cheap-ass system simply could not produce the quality needed for a professional magazine. I learned a hard lesson... you can't prepare a thousand-guest banquet with a Kenner Easy Bake Oven. So what the hell does this have to do with Danni? OK, I'm getting to her!

Take your time, Doc... there isn't any clock ticking...

While I was getting ready for the JUGGS project, I received an Email from none other than Danni Ashe herself. It seems she had noticed my work, and asked if I would be interested in creating a gallery for the HotBox. I grabbed that offer in a heartbeat. Our relationship was strictly professional and all business. We corresponded by email only. I never talked with her personally, nor did I ever meet her face to face... although I wish to hell that I had!

You may still get an opportunity. Just head out to Marina Del Rey... Moving along Doc, what kind of computer do you use? What is your preferred software for making these images?

I started out with an AT&T 50Mhz system with a 300Mb hard drive. (Gosh, no wonder I had so much trouble with JUGGS.) Today I use that system as a doorstop. The equipment I currently use is a Gateway 400Mhz system with a 10 Gig hard drive. (Now I can do some serious shit!) I still use the same scanner as before. For $1000 I'm going to keep this one a LONG time! The software that I use is Adobe Photoshop 4.0; it has a layer feature vital for producing shadows, which is a key element when producing the illusion of depth.

How long does it take for you to produce a finished image that you will gladly upload to the web?

It usually takes about an hour, but when you do something you enjoy, it seems like just a few minutes.

How true... time does diminish when you are doing something you love to do. Do you get fan mail? Do you have any idea of how many e-mail fan letters you may have received?

About two years ago I changed my email address, because I was getting so much fan mail that it was jamming up my email service. Since then, I have only given out my new address to friends and business associates.

And have there been any letters from professional models praising your work or condemning it?

I've never received any negative mail from professional models. In fact, the only model to actually contact me was Danni Ashe. However, I did receive a letter through JUGGS from a stripper in Arizona, who said I could have as many free lap dances as I wanted. (Oh, to be in Phoenix right now!) Mind you, it's not that I do not enjoy fan mail. For that matter, I get a thrill out of it. I just don't have the time to read and answer it all.

Who is your favorite model?

Without question, my favorite is BE's own Alicia. She is such a dear, and of course, we became business partners in my second venture into professional publications. (Look out! Here comes another story!)

About two years ago I discovered a new big breast magazine on the newsstands... Honey Cupps. I figured that since they were a brand new publication, they would be looking for some type of angle to make them stand out from the others. I immediately went to work on a few photos of Alicia and sent them to Honey Cupps. I got a phone call from their editor two days later, and to make a long story short, I landed my second professional gig. Having learned from my own mistakes with JUGGS, I approached Honey Cupps differently. This time I produced full color hardcopies printed on photo paper. This worked beautifully, and it looked as if I would be back in circulation for some time. Then something unexpected happened: Honey Cupps stopped publishing. Oh well! We had our day in the sun!

Now, I also enjoy working on models like Danni Ashe, but I prefer to work on ladies who are flat-chested. I prefer flat ladies because they offer the greatest challenge as well as the greatest satisfaction. So many other budding BE artists start off working on silicone-stuffed models like Busty Dusty, who are already big to begin with. Where is the challenge in that? On the other hand, I get great enjoyment out of taking an under-endowed lady and giving her a large set of hooters.

Can you give us any sense of who you are and what you do away from your cyber life...?

Hey, haven't you seen The Thirteenth Floor yet? There is nothing beyond cyber life but MORE CYBER LIFE! (There will now be a short pause for an extremely loud pipe organ playing Bach's Toccata and Fugue, accompanied by a deafening crash of thunder.)

What is in store for your fans?

Outside of looking for a new organist, there really isn't that much waiting in the wings. My current job keeps me occupied, which is one reason why you don't see the massive outpouring of enhanced photos I once produced.

Any new projects on the horizon, or are there any works still percolating in your head?

My dream is to someday produce a realistic, computer-generated film featuring Roberta Pedon, in which she runs, plays, and dances completely nude. Ah, but that is only a dream, and nothing more...

Last questions, Doc: What is it about this hobby that has given you the most stress... and what is it that has given you the most enjoyment?

My experience with JUGGS certainly caused the most stress, but once again, it was because I did not have the tools needed to perform the job properly. What gives me the most enjoyment? Hell, that's easy...
BIG TITS!!!!

Thank you Dr. Ivan. JustMeMike and BEhavior are very appreciative of your visit with us, and as a fan of the XLG series, I personally want to say thanks for all of those breathtaking images.

"What size did you have in mind, sir?"
"..."
"Excuse me, sir; what was that size again?"
"XLG!"
"XLG? For you?"
"Uh, I was thinking about something else. Sorry."

Mai Pehn Rai...