Perhaps this time around I can be a little less of a male chauvinist pig? Maybe I could be, but you don't get called Bad for nothing. Well, actually, you do get called Bad for nothing, or else I would get paid. Say, I also get called good for nothing, but once again I digress.

Last time around, those of the gentler sex were maligned by me when I reduced them to two objects. Let's just call those two objects lefty and righty, for now. A women is more than just parts. But, WHAT PARTS! Hubba, hubba, nudge, nudge (oops, sorry). It was wrong for me to suggest that mere breast size was the only item worthy of consideration in a women. I could not have been more wrong and sincerely apologize if I left you, my dear reader, with that impression. I mean, what the heck, great tits hung on a pig just ain't worth looking at! It's got to be an entire package. Not just tits! Unless you are a chubby chaser, who cares if she is a J cup when she weighs 400 lbs? Obviously, if I left the reader thinking it was only her boobs to be considered, that was a grievous error on my part and I am sorry.......

Wait, it seems my on-site N.O.W. (National Organization of Women) advisor is suggesting that I might still have a chauvinist pig tone to this article. Ok, fine, let me revise my remarks.

It's truly the personality of a woman that completes the package. A relationship is based on one human being relating to another. That's why the word is relationship. It comes from the verb to relate. A woman should not be viewed as a mere collection of body parts, nor as a sexual object. Rather, we need to look both ways before crossing that street called relationship. We need to look well to the RIGHT and see if there are big objects there and then again look to the LEFT to see if there are big objects there as well. We may then cross the street of relationship when we have a proper perspective on those objects that are on the left and right. I mean, some relationships can be a lot stronger when the objects on the left and right actually get bigger. Perhaps it's the mark of the strongest relationship if it can overcome giant objects on the left and right? I know I would like to be placed in a situation where I had to overcome large objects on the left and right. I would grab those objects, and wrestle them to the best of my ability as long as they were there in front of my relationship. Then with those objects subdued I could release my passion that they had hindered...

Ok, fine, my N.O.W. advisor seems to think there was something wrong with my last paragraph.

There is just no pleasing some people! No, she won't write what she thinks is appropriate, she just tells me I am wrong. Isn't that just like a woman? OUCH... she hit me!

Say, why the devil do I have a N.O.W. advisor? Ha, wait...I have it around here someplace. Yes, I have it now. The Holy Constitution, I hold up the 1st amendment! Ha, vile harpy, submit now and melt back to the foul and fetid halls of Ms. Alred's office. Away, away with you, and stop inhibiting my intellectual pursuit. Ha, ha, ha...she's gone! Good, as I was about to bring up the 2nd amendment if she wouldn't clear off.

Where was I? Oh, yea, I just love knockers, the bigger the better!

Oink, oink,
:-P
- Bad Irving