FRIDAY, **/**/99

Will we meet today? I'm not too sure - I mean, it's Friday, the second of this month, which is our jour fixe, but chances are very poor that Jockel will turn up - he's not aboard. He's busily scribbling memos or whatever it is he does in that Ministry of Silly Walks in Hanover, and we hope he'll be green with envy at our lot. TraX and I, on the other hand, are occasionally green as well, but from mal de mer . We're aboard the "MS Troika", and that blurry landscape near the horizon is most likely Libya. Or Egypt, you never know... from here, Bardiya and As-Salûm look very much alike.

Not that we care too much about landscapes these days...not aboard this ship. It's Russian, tidily kept, with an excellent cook. Too bad he's presently hospitalized in Famagusta, Cyprus, due to that little dispute he had with Brian's friends from Liverpool, and no, not about his cooking. We're all a little loco these days, and Maxim really shouldn't have talked to Mona in public. I mean, that's what Brian's defense is based upon. Well, at least those final kicks were quite unnecessary... There's a strong fraction aboard plotting to rename "MS Troika" to "MS Mona". We're not part of it - although we have to admit that Mona is a cutey - we brought our company with us. While Hella and Teresa are strong supporters of the "MS Mona" project, we're attempting a somewhat friendly neutrality. Mona claims to be Caribbean, and she closely resembles the model called "Africa" I've seen starring in a video or two. JustMeMike made a review of one of them in R&D. She's just a little plumper, and younger...and absolutely devastating. Our girls like her, and admire her African coiffure, hundreds of braids that swing around, emphasizing the fast, bird-like movements of her head. The Liverpool Gang - a bunch, believe it or not, of taxmen - would kill to have her at their table. No chance, Captain Krusajev pulled rank, so she's at his table every evening, and there is the smell of mutiny in the air. Hope we'll make it to Alexandria...

Now, the real special thing about Mona is that thong she's wearing. I mean, it always looks as if she has completely forgotten to put it on. This is a very, very tolerant cruiser, and it's merely populated by Europeans used to being confronted with bare breasts on a beach or in a park. That's not the problem, if you put aside the question of SIZE for a moment. No, our Mona does not wear pants unless Captain Krusajev himself asks her to do so. And it looks like he's got a lot of other things to do these days. Now you know what turned that lame group of Liverpool taxmen into a gang of kickboxing hooligans... TraX and I - we enjoy the situation, after all, with everybody on board leering at cute little Mona, we don't have to fight off unwanted rivals. I suspect the girls don't feel quite as comfortable. Hella is used to causing riots wherever she goes, and now her only followers seem to be traX and Yuri, the cabin steward. And I'm not too sure about traX, after all, I saw him leave Mona's cabin yesterday afternoon. Me, I've fallen in love, and it's only been a few weeks, so I should be immune to those bare swaying hemispheres. Still I hope Teresa and I will make it to Alexandria. Gotta go now, it's 3:00 p.m., and at that time Mona usually does a little sunbathing on Deck Beta...

Alexandria, pearl of the Mediterranean. Brian and two of his followers were taken into police custody today after Captain K. had them locked up in their cabin yesterday. He was reacting to another of those nasty incidents that seem to accompany Mona. Yuri, the steward, this time. Hella and Teresa, deprived of the only non-Mona-activist on board, are mourning. Made a little tour by boat along the coast. A beach crowded by people clad head to foot. Strong fundamentalist influence in Egypt: Female nudity is a no-no, and for strict believers that includes nude ankles... What made Mona want to go here? We end up in a beautiful little cove, a small but empty beach soon crowded by a hundred-odd tourists. TraX finds out the only access to the beach is guarded by heavily armed policemen. That makes the beach an extraterritorial area, so soon the girls wriggle out of their tops. As for Mona - well, Captain K.'s still in Alexandria negotiating with the police.

MONDAY

Transfer to Cairo or "Al-Qahira". We stay in one of the hotel complexes out of town but close to Gizeh. Yes, the pyramids. We stroll over to them in the evening for what they call "Son et lumière", a light show with music. Very impressive. Later there's a belly dancer scheduled...

To be continued...