A few words about the club she chose, the Imperial Theater in Anaheim. A relatively new club on the scene, it is probably the most well-appointed club in Orange County (or, as we say, behind the Orange Curtain). This is somewhat akin to being the center on a midget basketball team--you're still a short motherfucker! With Anaheim boasting some of the most restrictive laws in the state with respect to adult entertainment, the club strictly adheres to a "no touching" rule. How strictly? Well, as I was getting a 2-for-1 dance from a nice looking Latin dancer, she stood up in front of me on the bench (with her panties in my face) and I rested my left hand on her foot. Within seconds, one of the club's floaters came over and said, "Hands by your side at all times, buddy." Her foot, for crissakes! At least she managed to give my right ear a nice tongue bath and I received some mild stick shifting (thank God for her long, black hair!).

This fascist attitude is reflected in the crowds, or rather the lack of, and the concomitant number of dancers. At one point (I arrived at 7:30 for the 9pm show), I was the only male patron in the club. Still, I was outnumbered by the dancers just 5-to-1. As showtime approached, the number of customers "swelled" to about 15-20, about half of whom were too afraid to sit at the stage when SaRenna made her appearance.

There's been a lot of talk here lately about SaRenna, her health, her attitude and her service capabilities (and I certainly have not been shy about expressing my opinion). Let me say this: whatever personal problems she may have been experiencing appear to be a thing of the past. I have never seen a dancer who smiles more and seemed to enjoy herself more than she did during her appearance. She came bouncing up (to Billy Idol's "Rebel Yell") on stage in a blue-sequined evening dress and made eye contact and talked with just about everyone sitting in the front. She looked fresh-faced, with a clean complexion (not overly made up to cover bad skin) and her eyes were clear, all good signs.

SaRenna kept her dress on for the entire first song, finally removing it to reveal a huge sequined bra and matching panties. There were audible gasps from the crowd (some of whom clearly had no idea what they were in for), and she hadn't even shown any skin yet (okay, a nipple did manage to pop out when she did the splits). After she playfully admonished her nipple for being bad and tucking it back in, she continued with her performance, exhorting the crowd (such as it was) to cheer along. No physical interaction allowed, unfortunately, or I'm sure there would have been lots of breast play with the patrons.

At last, SaRenna removed her bra. Truly spectacular. The years have actually been very kind to her boobs, softening the edges while retaining their amazing shape, to the point where they look very realistic (except for the fact that they stick out almost as far as she is tall). She's definitely added some weight to her bones, though, as my lapdancer commented to me, "Unlike other features who have been here, she doesn't have any cellulite on her ass." A very astute observation, and correct, too. All in all, SaRenna put on a long, fun and energetic show, and except for the platinum-blonde dyed pubes, everything I'd hoped she be. Dazzling would be the best word to describe her.

We had to wait almost half an hour for her to come out of the dressing room for Polaroids, etc. When she did, she was wearing a different, cleavage- enhancing top. Each of the three of us (pathetic, isn't it) waiting for her got to talk with SaRenna for a long time. She was in no hurry, very charming, very sincere, and fairly priced (a Polaroid and a video for $30 is a great deal, especially for a dancer of SaRenna's caliber). She even made sure the Polaroid came out well before signing it (otherwise, she would have taken another one). She sounded excited when I told her about the BEA (she was familiar with us), and also let me know that because of all her moves in the last year, she's had difficulty keeping up with her club orders. Now, she seems to be settled in (or at least about to be), and the service should be what it was in 1993 when I first ordered stuff from her: everything received in record time, and each item personalized by her. She also indicated that she chose this club to kind of ease her way back into doing shows, so look for more than two appearances a year from her in the future.

Chili's recommendation: run, don't walk to the nearest club if she appears in your town. Tell your wife/girlfriend/life partner whatever you have to so you can see her perform. I'd give her about another month to order stuff from her, and the service by then should be up to par. Despite the lame club, SaRenna Lee definitely made my Hall of Fame list.

chilipalmer99@yahoo.com