|
MISC
BEHAVIOR |
|
MISC
BEHAVIOR THE
UNUSUAL SUSPECTS
YOU DIDN'T ASK,
BUT Editor / Writer /
Technologist TransPonder
is the most
computer-literate of the many
personalities inhabiting the body he
shares, and thus the one who becomes
dominant whenever there's a computer
nearby. His fanciful tales of Web skill
and daring are often embellished with
events he's experienced and feats he's
performed; some of what he talks about is
quite real, but not even the other
personae can always separate the facts
from the myth. Having spread his knowledge
to other realms beyond the Breast
Expansion Archive, he takes pride in his
ability to make the arcane seem easy to
understand, and willingly answers calls
for aid and assistance from other PC users
if he's seen the same problems they're
having. Just be sure to ask politely,
because lately some of his responses to
less-than-polite posts have been a bit on
the surly side. He'll probably recover his
former good humor and sunny disposition
after he's tracked down those damned
Smurfs, but meanwhile the other BEHAVIOR
staffers are taking bets on when he'll go
postal again. Sorry, but the pool is only
open for the staff. Columnist
Judge
Oaf is
Senior Judge of the Superior Court of the
BE-Archive. An experienced jurist of great
personal integrity, he dispenses high,
middle, and low (REALLY low!) justice on
behalf of a grateful and loyal citizenry.
Reporter
Hazard
ABio was
found wandering aimlessly through the
halls when the new staff occupied the
deserted offices of BEA Today. He was
treated for dehydration and hypothermia,
then parked behind a desk and assigned to
cover the Updates beat. Columnist
Gripe
Guy is
rumored to be the first and only baby that
complained during childbirth, and has been
bitching and moaning all throughout life.
After discovering the BEA in the summer of
'98, he volunteered his services as the
official fault finder for the BEA's
short-lived newspaper, BEA Today. Moving
on to BEHAVIOR, the Gripe Guy continues to
add his in-your-face commentary on the
world, the BEA, and fans of huge tits
everywhere.
Columnist
JustMeMike Columnist
St
Stephan
isn't really a saint, but he's hoping for
eventual canonization in the footsteps of
Augustine: you know, live it up, have fun,
enjoy a lustful life -- then, when he's
ancient and can hardly get it up any more,
he'll repent, write his Confessions, bang,
another saint! In the meantime he's
studying biblical languages and theology
and learning to write uplifting sermons
(but like most theology students he often
slips out for a good time). Columnist
MyCroft
(age 51)
disappeared in 1993 after claiming he had
discovered the unofficial porn collection
of the Vatican. He hasn't been the same
since his return two years ago. Is working
on a book about brainwashing techniques.
Lives with his second wife, a true 32D,
somewhere in Europe. Gave up his longtime
habit of sleep to have a second life at
night. Columnist
Chili
Palmer, the
InterNet's premiere reviewer of breast
expansion morphs, is unavailable to submit
a bio at this time because he is out at a
strip-club, conducting friction
experiments. Designer / Editor
Gonzo
was
conceived when a used Trojan flung from a
speeding Buick sailed over the wall into a
Carmelite nunnery. Everything he has
accomplished since then has been
completely accidental. Presently, he is
unintentionally developing an Artificial
Stupidity program that will make your
computer behave just like your
friends.
BEHAVIOR
NEWSMAGAZINE IS
PUBLISHED
|
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
