Fat Swimsuit : Jim confronts the Old Man...when Sharon waddled in.

Unending BE - episode 641028

"Nothing. Like I said, insurance. You have to understand my position here. If she'd bought the insurance, I would have sold her the more expensive reversible token. Without that, I fear that diet and exercise are her only options. It's not impossible, you know. A famed Circus Fat Lady named Dolly Dimples dieted off all her excess fat in just about a year or so. Unfortunately for you, Sharon doesn't have - and never will have - any of the health issues that made the diet necessary. Her body is built to be that fat. Her skeleton and muscle tissues specially reinforced to support that weight. If left on her own, she'll keep gaining, but eventually stop before reaching true immobility. It'll be hard for her to get through the doors at her job, but she'll be allowed to work from home...just like Homer Simpson in that one episode, remember?"

Jim glared at the Old Man, but it was obvious that he wasn't intimidating him in the least. Finally, he sighed...and asked "So, what CAN I do? How can I help her?"

"If you love her, go back with a bag of Lard Burgers and continue as you were. The token may have gotten a little off script, but it's changes in her personality are still active. She wanted to never worry about her weight, and she never will. As such, SHE'S not the one with the problem...you are. Ball's in your court, son. Do what you've gotta do. Me...I need to finish enchanting these toasters to pre-butter English Muffins and Bagels. That's where the REAL money is these days..."

"How much is insurance for a purchase?"

"I already told you, after the transaction..."

"I didn't mean for THAT token...I meant for a new one. A different one."

"Oh...about five-hundred to one-thousand dollars. That's only for a minor charm, token, item or spell. If you want something of the same level as the Token of Hearts Desire, well...that's ten-thousand dollars minimum."

"WHAT? That's not fucking fair, you old son of a bitch!"

The Old Man lowered his head, and a smile crept over his features. A cold, sinister smile that gave Jim a chill. For the first time, he felt the presence of the man. The power that he must be capable of welding.

"I should turn you into a syphilitic old whore for that, but I understand you're upset. Still, now you see why so many people opt not to purchase the insurance. Working a 'backdoor' into the pattern of a spell is difficult and time consuming."

Jim looked at his bankbook...

Just then, Sharon squeezed through the door, looking around until she saw Jim.

"Sharon? What are you doing here? How did you find me?"

"It's not rocket science, Jim. You said you were going to the mall, specifically Spells R Us."

"Oh, yeah. I forgot I babbled that much."

Just then, Sharon noticed the Old Man...

  1. "Hello." she said pleasantly, clearly not knowing who he was.

  2. "Oh, hello. Say, I think I remember this place. I bought something here last month. If only I could remember..." she cried

  3. *

    The Old Man bowed to Sharon, asking "So, I see you're enjoying your Token of Hearts Desire..."

  4. "Oh, what an interesting little shop. Tell me, are those toasters for sale?"

  5. Something Else

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Burke Rakers

Sun Nov 30 10:11:45 2008