And then, another woman suddenly appeared in the room. She was mostly naked, wearing only a pair of black crotchles panties and a pair of nipple rings. She was golden skinned with immensely large breasts, and she held a box of miscellaneous items.
"Oh great," the Leprechaun muttered. "Another author!"
"Another... what?" Jim asked.
"You remember, a while back, when we weren't so clear about what was happening? Was it you that was doin' things... or was it the 'second person' you of the person reading our adventures?"
"You've lost me," Jim sighed.
"Ah, me laddie, it's quite simple. Well... no it ain't neither. But remember when we were a visitin' that Mariah lady, and those two others arrived, that Smug fellow and his buddy Ral? They were authors, buttin' in on our plans. Smug even took the credit for one of your wishes that I granted!"
"Hey, that's not fair," Jim replied.
"No, no, it ain't. This here's another one of them fellows... except she be a lass. What do you say we give her the business?"
"Do it to her, man," Jim replied.
"I have a name, you know," the newly arrived author told them. "It's Sean. And I can hear you plotting," she said as she turned to face the general area from which the invisible malefactors' voices were coming.
"What? What the hell's going on?" the stupefied Candice Michelle asked.
"Sorry, let me explain. From their dialogue, these two here must be Jim and the Leprechaun, sitting here invisibly. They usually like to pull all sorts of strange and cruel magical pranks on celebrities. So, I'm guessing you're a celebrity?"
"Of course I am," Candice replied. "Don't you recognize me?"
"Nope, sorry. I'm sure you're terribly famous or else Jim and his tiny pal wouldn't care about you at all." And then Sean paused. She could feel something weird happening to her breasts. This must be what the Leprechaun meant by giving her the business. "My breasts... it's like they're being filled... with milk!"
"That's what happened to me too," Candice whined. "So how do we stop these guys?"
"Well, I have an idea..." Sean said. "As I recall, this all began because the nameless Leprechaun here arrived on Saint Shamus' day, a day when Leprechauns give their services away for free. Now, I'm guessing they've been working together for quite a while..."
"Quite right, lass," the Leprechaun said as he and Jim became visible (now that their invisibility was irrelevant). "Ah, the many pranks we've pulled. We made Esther fat. Then we made Mariah fat. Then, we made Daisy fat! Hilarious pranking indeed. And it took just a couple of months later for the latter two to start their new career as fat models. Then we made Jennifer pregnant and then we came here."
"Well, then," Sean began, "if two months have passed since Saint Shamus' day, it must no longer be Saint Shamus' day."
"Aye, that be correct," the Leprechaun said.
"So... you shouldn't be giving your services away for free anymore, should you?"
Jim suddenly looked shocked. Could this newcomer be right? Was he about to lose the services of his almighty pal?
"Who says I'm giving me services away?" the Leprechaun retorted. "Jimmy boy here is puttin' all these wishes on his 'tab'."
"I am? You're going to charge me for these last few wishes?" Jim asked.
"Indeed, I am. I was hoping you'd get further in debt before ye asked such a question. We leprechauns have to fill our pots of gold somehow, ye know."
"How... how much are you charging me?" Jim asked.
"Merely one million American dollars per wish. That's a mere pittance if you think about it. Heck, you could've wished for more money than that with each wish!"
"Well, I've got my earnings from Vegas..."
"Fah, that's only eighty thousand dollars."
"Too bad, I guess I can't pay," Jim said. "Unless I can buy one more wish?"
"You've had all the wishes ye're getting. And since ye can't pay... I get you," the Leprechaun told Jim. "One year per dollar you're short, tis the Leprechaun law. And when your body expires, your eternal soul will live on, to be tormented by me!"
"Nooooooooooo!" Jim yelled in terror, as he and the Leprechaun vanished in a puff of frivolous green smoke.
"And that takes care of them," Sean announced.
"Oh my god, I can't believe it. Thank you so much!" Candice said. "They must be the ones responsible for Mariah Carey and Daisy Fuentes becoming fatter faster than even Kirstie Alley! If they were going to do something like that to me... you've saved me! Is there anything I can do to repay you?"
"Well..." Sean said as she began to notice just how buxom and beautiful Candice was.
Mon Aug 01 15:12:24 2005
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