MPC/Sean and the 1000-episodes: Natalie Portman wants to dance

Unending BE - episode 386000

As Natalie Portman looked around the party to find someone to dance with, "Something else" happened. Someone suddenly appeared in a corner of the room when nobody was looking. This was Sean, an author turned into a character, forced to travel from one 1000-episode to the next. He was bare-chested, wearing only jeans, a backpack, and an unusual belt. He had last been seen in episode 251000.

As Sean looked around the room, he was disgusted by the sight of a bunch of drunken frat guys. As it happened, Sean wasn't a drinker, but even if he had been, the excessive amount of beer being consumed would've seemed somewhat childish. And it didn't help that the music being played was way too loud. How could anybody enjoy music when it's loud enough to destroy your eardrums? It was inconceivable.

And then, he and Natalie locked eyes, and she headed for him. At last, she had found what she was looking for, someone to dance with. At least, that's what she hoped.

"Hey, do you wanna dance?" she asked him as loud as she could, but she still couldn't compete with the music.

"Pants? Why would I want pants?" Sean asked, having misheard her. "Hey, you're Natalie Portman."

"I'm what?" she asked. "Not a real doorman? Of course, I'm not a doorman!"

"What? What's that about a foreman?" he asked.

"Huh? What'd you say? Performing?"

And so it went. It was impossible to have any sort of discussion in such a moronically loud environment. Eventually, Natalie gave up and dragged Sean over to where a bunch of couples were dancing. "Come on," she said. Even though he couldn't hear what she was saying, he got the idea, and soon the two of them were dancing. Sean wasn't that great a dancer, but with Natalie as drunk as she was, it didn't really matter.

Sean wasn't sure what Natalie Portman, star of the really lame Star Wars prequels, was doing in a lowly frat party, but it didn't seem that impossible. It certainly didn't seem like the sort of situation that could only have resulted from someone using the MPC program to control her. Thus, he didn't see any need to rescue her from her current situation.

Eventually, the music temporarily died down, long enough that Sean and Natalie could talk and be heard. "So now what do you want to do?" Sean asked her.

  1. *But it doesn't matter what Natalie says, because Sean vanishes, off to another 1000-episode.
  2. Suddenly, Natalie realizes that she's becoming incredibly horny again.
  3. Suddenly, the frat guys realize that Sean's not a member of their fraternity. They'll have to punish him for showing up at one of their parties (where only girls are invited, other than the frat guys.)
  4. Something else
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sm

Fri Aug 05 12:18:52 2005

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