"So what do you think of these Diablo scripts?" Kristen Kreuk asked Holly Marie Combs as the two passed in the hallway.
"Well, he and that Barnett fellow are certainly prolific," Holly replied. "By the way, nice chest!"
Kristen didn't need to look down. "Yeah, I know," the half-asian starlet sighed. "It's pretty heavy."
"But very realistic," Holly noted, reaching out to tweak one of the ochre-coloured nipples which crowned Kristen's absurd F-cup fake breasts.
"I can't believe they're putting us through this," Kristen complained. "I mean, Jim, Sharon, they're nobodies. They have to take whatever work they get. And Jennifer Love Hewitt and Pamela Anderson, they made their careers off speculation about their breasts. How did we end up performing in porn?"
"Look on the bright side," Holly countered. "At least the WB has got us a better deal than UPN got their people."
Kristen nodded. It was true; Sarah Michelle Gellar and Michelle Trachtenberg had been put through way worse indignities than she had. She noticed Alison Mack emerging from her dressing room. The girl now sported g-cup breasts and her hair, already dyed a light blonde, had taken on a platinum hue and was done to her middle back. Like her and Holly, Alison was also naked. "Over here!" she called down the corridor.
"Can you believe this?" Alison demanded. "I was talking to this Sharon woman. This stuff is just the thin edge of the wedge. Has your lawyer had any luck yet?"
"Not than I've heard," Kristen said. "Should I phone her again? It's only been twenty minutes since the last time I called. I really should stop pestering her and let her work."
"Why don't you call your agent instead?" Alison suggested. "You might want to tell him to try and keep you in the Diablo-Barnett scripts. Sharon's been working with these people for five years. She's got stories that will curl your hair. You're way better off sticking to the vanilla slut transformations they do. Or better still, see if he can get you an Iron Nick script. They seem pretty benign."
"How much worse could it get?" Kristen asked. A small crowd was gathering in the hall now. Rose McGowan and Alyssa Milano were now standing behind Holly.
Alyssa Milano interjected. "I've been under contract to these people for over three years. It can be brutal. You really want to stay away from the cycozombie scripts. They can be really nasty. Better to look slutty and provocative rather than slutty, bloated and gassy. I'd watch out for the Duke and Weasel stuff as well; you're initially attracted to it because of the superior dialogue and then suddenly, there's a huge cock where your clit used to be. And don't even get me started on the furry stuff!"
"Not that I'm complaining," Rose asked her co-star, "but why is all our work uncredited? All the nobodies are credited, even that Ms. Hbeorson person. How come nobody with any public name recognition gets into the credits?"
"That's not true, is it?" Alison asked. "I hear Sandra Bullock is credited."
"No -- she used to be. But then there was a policy change," Alyssa explained. "For some reason, they won't credit anyone who is paid more than scale. Weird."
"Yeah, that is weird," Kristen agreed.
"But fortunate," Rachael Leigh Cook, who had quietly crept up replied. They looked enviously at the young actress's intact supple figure and covetously at her unrevealing outfit. "I don't think we need any more attention drawn to our appearances here than is absolutely necessary."
"Hey--" Kristen said, "why do you get to keep your clothes on?"
"I'm sure it won't last," Rachael explained. "I'm just off to appear in the first episode of a new series I'm doing with..."
Tue Apr 22 00:29:32 2003
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