“Sure, the best,” I said. “They’ve god Simon Bar Sinister, who can cure anyone just by saying ‘Simon says’, and there’s Sigmund Freud, and there’s –”
“I didn’t know Sigmund Freud was a Toon,” she said.
“Well, it wasn’t the real Freud,” I admitted, “it was the Toon version from ‘Anastasia.’ He told me I suffered from l’amoure and said the key to resolving it was in Paris, but that not even he knew the cure. Then he went off and slipped on a banana peel.”
“Freudian slip, eh?”
“Whatever. So when that didn’t work I snuck into the Hidden Level in the Concourse and visited the chapel there—”
“What? How were you able to do that?”
“I was kidnapped there once, remember? Once you’ve been there once, you remember the way. I figured I needed an outside opinion, and the priests there are about as outside the AddVenture frame of reference as you can get.”
“So who did you see?” Mom asked. “Father Joseph?”
“No, the guy I saw called himself Father Seamus. He wasn’t much help either, I don’t think he’d ever heard a confession like mine before, and he pretty much admitted that with the church having had all the scandals it’s had lately he couldn’t exactly give me objective advice, even if I hadn’t been guilty of half the mortal sins in the book.”
“Scandals?” Mom asked. “What scandals?”
“It’s a real world thing, something about a bunch of priests acting like some of the shadier perverts in our world, and the hierarchy covering up for them. Big abuse of trust and authority thing. Anyway, he told me my problem was you and Dad and my moral upbringing, but that didn’t really wash with me because like you said, you really were careful, in fact I grew up thinking I was the weird one with all the strange feelings I was having, I never suspected that you and Dad – but anyway, it was one of the things that got me thinking it was time to start trying to mend fences with you guys.”
Mom made a wry face. “Well I’m glad you’re not worried we’ll jump you as soon as you come back.”
I laughed at that one. “Not worried about it, no!” And I let her make what she would of that. “Um, speaking of coming back,” I said.
“You’re ready, then?”
I nodded. “It’s time for the others to return from exile, right? I’m getting really curious about what they’ve been up to.”
“Well then,” said Mom, “come on in and we’ll go find out.” She reached her hand towards the screen, and from my end I reached into the stone, and just like that I was there.
I was just in time to see Dad approaching with the kid he’d had with Sukadika, the one that had caused the whole Sphere crisis to begin with. “Okay, I think I’ve got the brat’s magic under control again,” he was saying to Mom. “In fact – ” Then his face kind of lit up when he saw me. “Anna!” he said. “You’re back!” I think he’d have come and hugged me if he hadn’t been holding the kid.
“Yep, I’m back,” I said. “And did you know my baby brother just peed on you?”
“What? Oh shit!”
He had to magic that little mess away.
“Hey,” I said, “What did you and Mom end up naming these two, anyway?”
“Oh, right,” Dad said. “About that –”
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Tue Mar 18 02:02:31 2003
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