There was a big blue genie whose lower half was a wisp of smoke. The genie had caught up the trailing end of the wisp and turned it into a microphone. "Hi, and welcome to the show. As the first to cross over into episode 28,000, you've won the grand prize of getting to be in episode 28,000! Who are ya, where ya from?"
"Uh, Samantha Carter," Sam said.
"Sa-mantha!" Her name appeared on the wall, surrounded by a ring of lights. "Zit alright if I call ya Sam? Or would you rather I called you Man? Or how about Sammie! Yoo hoo! Sammie! Here boy! (Hmm, that doesn't really work, does it?)"
"Excuse me," said Samantha, "but just who are you?"
"I am the ever powerful --" The genie turned into Arnold Schwartzeneger. "--the long contained--" He turned into a box. "The often imitated, but never duplicated--" A bunch of him appeared. "--You Wish, genie of the lamp! (Coming to you right here, from the lamp, for your very much wish fulfilment.)" He did an Ed Sullivan for this last comment.
"Wishes?"
"Six wishes, to be exact. Not one, not two, six! Uno, dos, seis. And ixnay on the wishing for more wishes."
"Genie," said Samantha. "You're a genie."
"Yes! She can be taught!" The genie stuffed a diploma in her mouth and popped a mortarboard onto her head. "Let me see if I've got this straight," Sam said, spitting out the diploma. "You're going to give me any six wishes I ask for, is that right?"
"Almost. There are a few quibbles, a few quid-pro-quos, I'll tell you what they are if you get it wrong. Make 'em good, these ten-thousand episode anniversaries don't come around very often. Usually I have to make do with one-thousand anniversaries, and nobody even notices those."
"Okay!" said Sam. "I want . . ."
Sat Mar 1 19:09:32 2003