Have Leia Do A Striptease.

Unending BE - episode 236371

Jabba's Palace.

It was a dark and sandstormy night. Jabba's Aunt and cousin had left for Nal Hutta, and the other denizens of the palace had either returned to their hovels in town or found a wet, slimy place to pass out. Jabba the Hutt, Salacious Crumb and Bib Fortuna sat around in Jabba's private office, sharing some spice.

Hydraulic doors hissed open and a short figure clad in leather and hardened plastic armor entered carrying a large mechanical shape. The figure threw the metal object onto a small cot in the front corner of the office, then removed the close-fitting helmet that covered its whole head. The figure then began to unzip its drivesuit until the presence of an audience dawned on it.

<<"Enjoying yourselves?">> Leia said in Huttese without turning toward the trio. <<"If not, I can make it more interesting.">>

<<"That's not your job anymore.">> Jabba bellowed jovially. <<"You're pretty, but you're a better pod racer than dancer. More profitable too.">>

"Profitable too." Bib Fortuna repeated mindlessly in galactic standard.

Leia sat on her cot and removed her boots. <<"Well, I've never been known to be excessively girly.">> She muttered.

<<"Would it help your confidence to do a little dance for us?">>

Leia paused, looking at her owner through strands of her long, sand-filthed hair. <<"Jabba, you have got to lay off the management books -- or is it a shrink-of-the-month book that you're toying with?">>

Bib Fortuna attempted to subtly slide Jabba's intergalactically imported copy of The Relationship Rescue Workbook by Dr. Phil McGraw under a nearby pillow.

<<"I don't know what you're talking about...I...">>

"Fuck off Jabba." Leia groaned. She then slid out of the top portion of her jumpsuit, removed her bra and defiantly shook her naked breasts at the three aliens. "I'll be in the pool."

Jabba slumped into his throne. <<"By the Force this is BAD, Bib. I'm losing her and I don't even know WHY.">>

"Bad Bib." Fortuna clicked.

  1. Jabba goes into therapy, or otherwise attempts to repair his damaged relationship with the former princess of Alderaan.
  2. *Leia meets a dashing, romantic (non-"Expanded Universe") figure who has hid out in the palace overnight.
  3. Something better than a two-word nonsense episode.
Go back - Go to the parent episode.

Sensitive Selina

Thu Jul 18 23:59:16 2002

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