Frink looked around wildly, trying to locate the source of the voiceless presence. "Deja Voodoo?" he asked. "Is that you? Where are you?"
Frink looked directly out of the screen, to where Deja Voodoo was inputting the episode. "This won't do at all," he said. "How can I interview you out there?"
A sheet of yellow paper from a legal pad floated down into Frink's hands. As he looked at it, words appeared: How's this, Mr. Frink?
Frink groaned. "This is even worse! This is broadcast, DVd -- you know, radio, TV, that sort of thing? How is my audience supposed to hear words on paper?"
I knew the directors of BEA made a mistake preempting "The Amazing AddVentures of the Bowler Fucker" for your show, wrote the paper. But very well, if you're going to be whiny about it...
A man walked on from the wings, somewhat blurry around the edges. His appearance seemed to suggest that of a billboard somehow. "Is this any better?" the man asked.
"Now the visuals are all screwed up," Frink complained.
A tall, dark, sinister, ugly man swept in from the other side of the stage, a bright red parrot on his shoulder. "I aim to please," he told Frink. "How's this for a sharper image?"
"Fine," said Frink. "Only, except for the coal black skin, you look exactly like 'Jafar' from 'Aladdin.' What are you trying to do, get me sued by Disney?"
Someone tapped him on the shoulder. A rather ordinary looking guy, somewhat paunchy, not as young as he had once been. "This is the form I take when I'm lounging around in the privacy of my own suite," the guy said. "No copyright problems here."
Frink sighed. "No human interest, either. You're supposed to be the Famous Deja Voodoo? I'll be laughed off the air! My ratings will nosedive! Can't you come up with anything more interesting?"
The air before Frink shimmered as a portal manifested. As the shimmer died, a beautiful young woman with long black hair was revealed, tastefully attired in a navy business dress. Her laugh was musical and enchanting. "Is this interesting enough?" she teasted.
Frink swallowed. "Y-yes, of course. Uh, aren't you DJ Woohoo, though?"
The woman shrugged. "I answer to DJ 2 when my original's speaking through me. So, will this do? Or shall we just write this interview off as a loss and let you go on to your next victim?"
"No, no, you'll do fine!" Frink hastened to assure her.
"Very well." DJ sat down in the chair across from the interviewer, smoothing her skirt. As Frink attempted to collect his thoughts, five identical chairs appeared beside hers. Into them immediately settled an indefinable presence, the piece of legal paper, the blurry man, the Jafar look-alike, and the ordinary guy.
"I, uh, thought this was going to be just you and me," Frink protested.
DJ laughed again. "Sorry, Mr. Frink. You wanted Deja Voodoo? Well, when you get me, you get all of me. Besides, it will help keep any one of me from getting too fatigued. And you did specify interesting, after all."
"Did I? Oh well."
prompted the voiceless presence.
And see if you can make it interesting, too, scribbled the paper.
"You seem to have a standard list of questions you ask your guests," the blurry man observed.
Jafar sniffed distainfully. "Can't you come up with something more . . ."
". . . original?" finished the ordinary guy.
"I'll try," Frink grumbled. This was plainly not going to be an ordinary, run-of-the-mill interview!
Go back - Go to the parent episode.
Thu Sep 27 23:06:19 2001
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