DJ pushed herself back from her desk, where she had been going through some papers. "More mapping," she said. "Now that Adama's clear on what the Backstage looks like in cross section, I thought I'd review some old episodes and try to knock together a chart of the Main Level for him, especially since he still seems a bit hazy on what's where. Guess he never got around to reading the first edition of the Backstage Guide in episode 131660."
Fruitbat crowded in to see what she had been working on. "Ah," she said, "you've already started drawing it out."
"Yes," DJ nodded. "Based on the guide and what we ourselves have seen in our excursions around the Main Level. Now, Deja Voodoo originally described the main level as
a long, high room, about fifty yards wide by a quarter-mile long. Its ceiling is lost in mist and distance, though there apparently is one, as there's no weather Backstage. The whole Backstage is lit from an unknown source to the brightness of a cloudy day, which dims to that of a moonlit night for a seasonally variable period paralleling that of true night.
Clear so far?"
"You do the voice well," said Fruitbat, admiration in her own voice.
"Thanks, had a lot of practice back when I was the so-called 'voiceless presence' Avatar. Of course, as you've no doubt noticed, the main level isn't, strictly speaking, a rectangle in shape as DVd implies. Rather, the longer sides curve slightly, as if the Backstage was a section along the edge of some vast circle."
"Hmm," said Fruitbat. "Could that imply that it is just one section in a vast circle, with unexplored regions lying beyond each of the short ends?"
"I suspect so. I understand that already Dabbler, in his CMOT Dibbler personna, has discovered a passageway to the original Backstage on at the end the Hotel abuts, so it, no doubt, is what lies beyond that end."
"Original?" Fruitbat asked. "You mean this isn't the original?"
"No, there was one before the Backstage we know, which Deja Voodoo first thought he had created out of the whole cloth from a hint in an episode option. He tried to fit in the earlier concept where we're sitting now, as the Backstage Hotel, but apparently didn't quite match the model. There does seem to be a certain amount of seepage between the Original Backstage and the Hotel, however -- even Characters with experience in both venues don't always seem to be certain which one they're in."
"Weird. Sounds like this needs further investigation."
"Sometime you and I will make an expedition around the whole circle and see if we can clear up some of these mysteries. At present, though, our focus is more limited. Now, then. On my chart I have designated the curved 'outer wall' of the Main Level as 'south' and the curved 'inner wall' as 'north.' The notion is that since the AddVenture episodes and 'reality' (whatever that is) are beyond the 'outer' wall, that's the side anyone outside would be looking in from."
"So just as people looking at a map face it from its south side--" Fruitbat started.
"People looking at the Backstage would face it from the outer wall," DJ finished. "Hence, the outer wall becomes 'south.' As you can see from my chart,
The focal point of the Main Level is the middle area, equidistant between its two ends. This is the region known as Backstage Central. Unlike the establishments at the ends, this area is largely open to the "air" of the Main Level, such as it is. Backstage Central extends from one long side of the Main Level to the other, effectively cutting off each end from the other. Along one side (the "outer" curved side, or south side, of the Main Level), there is a raised platform containing a long bank of computers known as the Computer Cluster. These computers are set up in two long, parallel rows facing the wall and serve both as actual computers and windows into the BE AddVenture at large, which apparently lies beyond the wall. Between the Computer Cluster platform and the wall itself is a long storage area filled with an immense number of storage boxes. These contain Remotes, magical artifacts from (or for) "Spells R Us," and other paraphernalia from the AddVenture. Much of this equipment is broken or in some way defective, which seems to be why it was shelved Backstage.
I understand Sid's been repairing or otherwise futzing with a lot of it in his spare time," DJ added. "That's part of his job description, I gather."
"How'd all this stuff get there, anyway?" Fruitbat asked.
"Well, Deja's theory is that the Main Level of the Backstage, and the Computer Cluster in particular, marks the spot where the AddVenture was first created, and from which it was initially run," said DJ. "Later on, as the AddVenture program was improved and upgraded, the administration moved to the newer Upper Levels, leaving the Main Level vacant. Then when characters started seeping over from the Original Backstage the Board of Directors decided to establish the Hotel, and then Central to protect the computer and storage area from Characters wandering over from there, and finally the Old Wizard's Bar and Grill to give Author Avatars something to do Backstage besides disrupt the Characters in the Hotel or disturb Sid in Central."
"Ah. And where do the Author Suites on the Upper Levels fit into this picture?"
"Those were apparently the amenities originally provided for the Authors and their Avatars outside the hustle-bustle of the AddVenture, just as the Original Backstage, and later the Hotel, had been provided for the Characters. It was only after the Authors realized that interesting things were starting to happen on the Main Level and started visiting it that the separate facility of the Bar and Grill had to be set up for them. That's the theory, anyway."
"Theory? But if Deja Voodoo's the one who's been setting up most of this stuff, wouldn't he know?"
DJ shrugged. "You'd think so. Based on what I remember from my time as his acknowledged Avatar, though, I suspect he was just building things up blindly, tacking on more and more things to explain what had already been established as the whole process started to snowball. It was only afterward that he began to feel the need to explain everything, both to himself and others."
"That's Authors for you," Fruitbat muttered.
"Amen, girl. Anyhow, to continue the description of Backstage Central,
near the curved inner wall, or 'north side,' of the Main Level, opposite the Computer Cluster, is the Sid Russell family's living area. It consists of another raised slab bearing an office and sleeping area for Sid, in addition to a kitchen area and his mad doctor lab. As you can see, the office and sleeping area are to the 'west' end of the slab, the kitchen in the middle, and the lab to the 'east' end. You'll note that prominant features of the lab include the reintegration booth, towards the front or 'south' side of the slab, and the dumpster, just off the slab's 'east' end. It's not apparent on the chart, but the sleeping area is curtained off, as Sid not only sleeps but has sex there, and witnesses are not invariably welcome...
--but I can see you're wondering how I know that."
Fruitbat, grinning, nodded.
"DVd used to peek," DJ stated in prim disapproval, and continued. "Moving right along,
between the Cluster Slab and the Living Area slab, on the actual floor of the Main Level, the Russells have their dining area, containing a large dining room table.
Just 'south' of that, by the way," DJ added, looking up, "is where Mirage set up the birdcage containing your counterpart who tried to invade and take over Central. That seems to be the spot where most drop-ins happen, possibly due to a weakening of reality in that vicinity, so that's where she parked her watch dog. Note that the main gates into Central from the two ends of the Main Level are just 'east' and 'west' of that point."
Fruitbat looked wistful, remembering her former existance as the Great and Powerful winged (and male) dragon she had started out live as.
DJ resumed her explanation of the chart. "You'll note the fences Sid set up east and west of Central, which the gates allow passage through," she said. "These fences weren't there originally. They serve the dual purpose of keeping visitors from the ends away from Central and its dangers and of separating the inhabitants of the two ends. More on that later. Moving from the living area slab to the 'north' wall, we find that
along that wall, right behind the kitchen, is a door to a more extensive residential area in which Sendula, Credensa, Mirage and the Russell children live when not on duty. These rooms are private, so the door is almost always locked. Non-residents are not welcome there. Other doors in the north wall to either side of this one lead to various storage closets, toilet facilities, and guest rooms for shelved Characters, like the one in which Mirage installed Robin Foster during that Character's pregnancy.
All of these rooms are within the north wall, not beyond it," DJ noted, looking up. "To date, no one seems to know what's on the other side of the north wall, in the center of the 'circle.' Now,
The ends of the Main Level to either side of Central contain much open space just beyond Central's fences, and then Ye Olde Wizzard's Bar, Grille and Flophouse at the 'east' end, better known as the Old Wizard's Bar and Grill or just the Backstage Bar and Grill, and Hilbert's Backstage Hotel, also called Hilbert's Hotel or the Backstage Hotel, at the 'west' end. The Bar and Grill is a sink of Author iniquity and depravity, while the Hotel is a place for Characters to kick back, rather like they do in the Original Backstage, only in the Hotel they get to stay in character and retain whatever powers and paraphenalia they have. The Hotel is also where Characters are prepped for their next appearances in the AddVenture at large, and where new Characters are 'cast' before their initial appearances in the AddVenture.
You probably remember that, Fruitbat," DJ said.
Fruitbat shook her head. "Not really," she replied. "First thing I can recall, outside my own back-story, is appearing before Sid and wives to banish them from Backstage."
"Oh, well maybe the initial prep is like a baby memory, something that happens to you but you forget about as you grow older."
"Could be. Hey, how come the Bar and Grill and the Hotel itself are more or less blank on this map? After all, we're based her in the Hotel, and we've both been to the Bar and Grill, so why haven't you filled 'em in?"
"They're both more complicated in layout," DJ told her. "They can be subjects for later charts. Now, would you be a good girl and pop this up to Adama's suite? He needs the info."
"Sure thing, Deej," said Fruitbat, seizing the chart and poofing out.
"And don't call me Deej!" hollered DJ after her, but the lizard girl was already gone by that time. DJ was still seething when her partner returned moments later, but decided to let it pass.
"So what's next, boss?" Fruitbat asked.
Go back - Go to the parent episode.
Wed Apr 25 14:18:26 2001
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