She found herself in a long corridor, flooded with light. To the right, it ended in a blank wall. To the left it extended apparently indefinitely, the far end being lost in a sort of luminescent mist. She looked up, and could find no ceiling -- the walls just went up and up until they too were lost in that same mist. Down the corridor she saw other doors similar to JigSaw's. She hesitated, uncertain as to how to proceeded, and turned back to ask JigSaw where to go.
Snoring sounds were coming from the couch. If I wake him he'll probably just proposition me again, she thought. Sighing, she closed the door. It was dusty, and the words painted on the glass ("JigSaw's Lair") were peeling. Guess that'll be one of the first things I clean, Fruitbat mused. Continuing along the corridor, she glanced at the other doors. Some were as dusty as JigSaw's, others sparkling clean. Most, but not all, had names and numbers on them, as if they were business offices. She noted the ones she passed. The numbers on JigSaw's side were odd, those on the other even. JigSaw's Lair - Suite 667... Suite 666 - Caution! Do not open!... L.E.'s Digs - 665 (No Solicitors! No Visitors! This Means You! Guard Dog on Duty!)... No number ... JH - Suite 663 ... Dabbler's Pad - Suite 662 (Dabbler had been crossed out and Dibbler written in over it, which in turn had been lined through and "DABBLER!" scrawled in again, boldly and emphatically)... Volkov - Suite 661 (this one looked disused, vacant, in fact)... SpaceMoose - Suite 0 (a couple of the digits seemed to have been knocked off this one)... ghost_hand.com - Suite 659... Fruitbat got the picture. These were the offices, apartments, or whatever, of the Authors who wrote the BE AddVenture, or at least those of their Avatars. She'd always wondered where they parked their butts when they weren't mucking up episodes -- couldn't be the Bar and Grill, as that was a recent addition. She considered knocking at one of the doors and asking directions, but quickly dismissed the idea. These were Authors! No telling what they might do to her! She resolved to keep JigSaw's door locked whenever she was on duty there...
Abruptly she came upon a cross corridor. Unlike the main one, it only extended a short distance in each direction. To the right, it ended in a door with a red warning sign and a push bar across it. It read "Emergency Exit Stairwell." The other end had an elevator door, with a large directory sign along the adjoing wall.
"Ah!" cried Fruitbat, and hastened over to scan it. It seemed to be a complete directory of the floor, enumerating all the suites, of which there appeared to be sixty-six. She read off the suites she had already seen and then turned to the facing wall on the other side of the elevator, which bore another, smaller directory. This one listed floors, of which the one she was on was "16th Floor - Author Suites." No higher floors were listed. The six floors beneath her were also designated at Author Suites -- she'd had no idea there were so many Authors... The ninth and eighth floors seemed to be administrative, and the seventh service. The sixth and fifth were unlabeled. The fourth and third were "Offices" -- not too helpful, that -- and the fourth "Upper Rooms - Luxury Suites." The ground floor was "Main Level - Bar & Grill."
Fruitbat nodded. Now she knew where she was. The ground floor must be quite a floor, as it, like this top one, seemed to extend upward forever, as she recalled. There were basements and sub-basements listed beneath the ground floor, but she didn't look at these. She had the information she wanted, and it wasn't good. The Backstage Hotel was fifteen floors below and the whole length of the Backstage over! JigSaw couldn't have meant to send her all that way! There had to be a different route, and all things considered a differnt route must mean -- portals! She could have kicked herself for not figuring it out earlier! She who had formerly been able to poof people all over the place with her own personal mental portal! (Pity that ability had been stripped from her thanks to her transformation...)
Resolutely, she tramped back to the Lair -- the portal she sought must be there somewhere. She opened the door and paused. The built-in portals were almost always in doors, and the front door was most likely to be the one she wanted. She definitely didn't want to wake JigSaw, -- continued sounds of snoring from the couch assured her he was still sleeping. She concentrated... the room wavered...
She was in Central Casting in the Backstage Hotel!
Candy, one of the staffers, looked up from the Character she was giving a makeover. "Oh," she said, "you're finally here. Took you long enough! Woohoo's office is through that door to your right and down at the end of the hall."
"How did you know I was coming?" Fruitbat asked. "JigSaw hardly had time to tell anyone before he nodded off.
"How do you think? He's an Author dummy -- when he writes an episode it covers all contingencies! Now git, girlfriend -- we're trying to get some work done here!"
Fruitbat gitted.
"Hey, nice outfit!" Candy called after her as she left Central Casting. Fruitbat gritted her teeth and kept going. (They were smooth, human-style teeth, not at all like the point jagged dragon ones she had been born with.) Soon she reached the appropriate office.
It was an office door like the those near JigSaw's at the Top of the Backstage. Neatly lettered across the glass in fresh black paint were the words
Backstage Troubleshooter
Taking a deep breath, Fruitbat rang the bell and stepped in, as JigSaw had instructed her.
The place was quite a mess. Not slovenly and dusty like JigSaw's place, but with papers scattered and stacked all over -- everywhere but in the file cabinet, it seemed.
"Obviously," Fruitbat said, "there's quite a bit of organizing for me to do."
Slipping off her uncomfortable spiked heels, she set about it, hoping DJ would show up soon to give her a bit of guidance.
Go back - Go to the parent episode.
Thu Apr 19 09:53:23 2001
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