Backstage Troubleshooter
Perplexed, she glanced at her clipboard. As expected, there were further instructions from Deja Voodoo there:
Thinking things through, I decided there's no point in keeping you on ice between assignments. Besides, that intention threw F-Cup Fitzgerald into a hissy fit, and I ended up as a kid in a car on the road to Vegas for one episode, getting read the riot act by MarkT. (Apparently the T guy's my dad -- I didn't know that!) Besides besides, you've caught the interest in at least one other Author and been offered an assistant. So I'm giving you an office in the Backstage Hotel and defining your job description more precisely.
DJ looked at the door again. "Office, huh?" Then she returned to her reading.
That's right. You will remember having been here before, and having left it in a mess owing to your need to research the threads in which you visited the untransgendered but not yet restored Avatars. You will find your assistant, a maid by trade, trying to organize your papers for you.
Now for the job description. Your mission is provide assistance to all who need help straightening out continuity glitches, whether Author or Character, and in general to serve as a snooty, know-it-all, anal-retentive pain in the butt to those who think people shouldn't take all this so seriously but go out and get a life. If all goes as planned I will be writing your missions, but don't count on all going as planned -- this is the BE AddVenture, after all. In between missions you will ensure that all equipment necessary for the smooth functioning of the Backstage is operational and functioning correctly, particularly the Hotel portals. It is for this reason that your office has been established here in the Hotel.
You are also responsible for mapping all of the known Backstage for the next edition of the Backstage Guide. Initial data should be received shortly from Adama, who pumped the minds of the Men in Gray, and your assistant, who has just explored a portion of the premises previously not encountered.
In all of your assignments you can call on the services of your assistant. To maximize her effectiveness you may wish to use your Avatorial powers to restore her inborn power in relation to the denizens of the AddVenture. Kindly do not restore anything else about her, however she entreats you. She's only here half time, and has another supervisor who prefers to keep her the way she is.
Your own immediate supervisor will be Sid Russell when he returns from his vacation -- your office, you will find, has a direct phone connection to Backstage Central, as well as to all other Backstage locations. As always, of course, you will however ultimately answer to me. I will instruct you via the clipboard, or, should it be lost, in some other fashion.
You may discover that clients choose to call on you in person rather than communicating by phone. I apologize for the inconvenience. I have arranged that you will always be available, and that the ringing of your office doorbell will summon you (or a version of you) back to the office from wherever you are, whatever you are doing. You may temporarily disable this function in the event anyone chooses to play "ding dong ditch" with your doorbell.
You are now free to explore your new digs.
"Cool," muttered DJ. "A place to hang between assignments. Now I guess I'd better introduce myself to my new assistant. I wonder who it will be?"
She entered the office, finding there a stunning, buxom woman in a french maid's outfit, currently engaged in sorting papers. The woman also had scaly red skin...
"Oh no," DJ groaned. "Not Fruitbat..."
Fruitbat, for so it was, looked up, a hurt expression on her face. "Hey, it wasn't my idea, but it beats having to be JigSaw's flunky all the time and suffering the slings and innuendos of outragious syntax. Gimme a break, girl, when I was created as a character I was told I'd be doing something useful Backstage, and since then it's been one insult, transformation and proposition after another! At least this is sorta like my original assignment. Let me stay? Please? I promise I'll be good..."
DJ sighed. "Very well. All right, if you're going to be assisting me the first thing I'd better do is restore your poofing ability... not to mention find you a more appropriate outfit for when we're on assignment. I've no wish to be laughed out of the Backstage, girl..."
Thu Apr 19 11:19:24 2001
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