JigSaw's Lair: Okay, Dabbler, let's talk...

Unending BE - episode 138961

Actually, I gather we're in another room, with Dabbler's (now reduced) group, and JigSaw's not present, being busy in the first room with his own.

The Authors, current and former, felt another presence. The voiceless presence of Deja Voodoo.

"How is it," asked Dabbler, "that every time you do this 'voiceless presence' thingy, it's accompanied by a voice?"

It's not. It's all in your head.

"Whatever. I presume you're here for DJ Woohoo?"

"My hero," breathed the Author girl in question.

Not necessarily.

"What?" asked Dabbler.

"What?!?!?" cried DJ Woohoo.

Not necessarily.

"You said that," Dabbler observed.

You didn't seem to hear me. Sorry, detect me. Of course you can't hear me, my presence is voiceless!

"Why might you not be here to take me away from all this?" DJ demanded.

I'm not into Avatars.

"That's okay," said Dabbler. "I am."

I didn't mean that way. You misunderstand. My schtick is to speak directly into the episodes in which I appear, not be represented by Avatar. I would have thought I had made that quite clear over the episodes. Just because I wrote my words on a billboard once or twice doesn't mean I maintain a physical presence in the AddVenture.

"Yeah?" said DJ. "How do you explain me, then?"

You are merely the crude attempt of another Author to write me an Avatar when I wouldn't have written one in myself. In fact, if I'm not mistaken, it was Dabbler himself, back in episode 135964.

"But you've written me since!"

From time to time, since you were present in options I wanted to script. And since you did bear my name -- for a while -- I did feel something of a proprietory interest in you. Which doesn't change the fact that you're not really my Avatar, and never were. If anything, you're Dabbler's.

"Uh -- I've already got one," said Dabbler, uncertainty in his voice. "Two, in fact, at the moment. I should know. I'm one of them."

"And I'm the other," added Dribbler, taking his hand. "And I think two are quite enough, thank you. In fact, I'm looking forward to going back down to one."

If my reading of the current thread is accurate, you've been redefined as a character, Dribbler. Unless you get screwed, I gather.

"Yeah. Way I see it, I'm screwed either way."

Good one. Ha-ha. Can we get back to the matter at hand?

"What matter was that?" asked Dabbler. "You lost me somewhere."

The matter of DJ Woohoo, and her future.

"Don't I have a say in that?" DJ protested.

No. This is between Authors.

"Okay," said Dabbler. "What about DJ and her future?"

First of all, while she is not me, I do not care to have a character whose name has been associated with mine reduced to a bit part in a porno thread.

DJ looked up, a somewhat wary expression of hope on her face.

"Actually," said Dabbler, "the role I had in mind was somewhat more prominant than that."

A fact that does not incline me to look any more favorably on the scenario. Neither, on the other hand, do I wish to be accused of sabatoging your thread by 'chickening out,' as you call it.

"What's in a phrase? Call it opting out."

There is still a stigma attached.

Dabbler shrugged. "Sounds like you're in a quandary. Don't worry about it, I fully expected you to chic-- that is, I expected this to happen. Read my main thread if you don't believe me."

I have an alternative to propose.

"You do?" asked Dabbler, surprised.

"You do?" burst out DJ at the same time.

I do. I propose to let Dabbler have his way with you--

"No!"

--using JigSaw's cop-out. That is, it will be assumed to have happened, but will be censored, and so will not in fact be written.

"And the advantage to me is...?" DJ asked.

You will only be assumed to have gone through with it, without actually having to. You will assume full 'Avatorial' powers, and will enter my service -- not as my Avatar, but as my representative. As my trouble shooter, if you will.

"And the downside?"

You stay a woman, and you keep your present name. I don't want people confusing us.

DJ sighed. "Well," she said, "I suppose it's better than my current situation. And I have spent more of my existence in the AddVenture as a woman than a man. Guess I can live with it..."

"Hey, this is great!" enthused Dabbler. "She stays an Author girl, does she? And I get to play around with her any time I want?"

No you don't.

"As a character, I mean. Not sexually."

Nice save, but I know what you meant. Either way, the answer is still no. I went along when you created DJ, but now you're trying to make her -- and by association, me -- an object of your lust. So if you want my approval to go ahead with your scenario, there's no more 'playing around with her.' You'll resign to me all rights to her. She'll appear only in episodes written by me, unless I fail to retrieve her after writing such episodes. And no hanky-panky even then, understand?

"All this for a date I don't even get to write? I don't think so!"

Very well. You may show foreplay.

"How about aft-play? Or hey, since you've essentially disclaimed responsibility for her, why don't I write everything the way I want it and the hell with what you want?"

Don't get uppity, Avatar! Because your original provided the option of opting her out, that's why! You wanna make something of it, you see him about it!

"Why? You're writing this. You're the one who's making me uppity--ack!"

Where Dabbler had stood, a small hedgehog now scurried about. The assembled Author girls gasped.

Deja Voodoo counted slowly to ten, and then the hedgehog was restored to Dabbler-hood again.

Just a reminder, Avatar. There are differences between true Authors and those who just play them in the BE AddVenture. Fuck around with my rep, and I'll turn you into a small, pitiful mammal wherever I encounter you, get it?

"Got it. You've made your point."

Good. DJ, I'll pick you up after the orgy. Have fun.

"I thought you just ruled that out," said DJ.

Fake it, then. I'm gone.

He was.

"Say," said Bigg Anne to Dr. Hooker. "You don't suppose our originals could be persuaded to do undignified things to Dabbler too, do you?"

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Deja Voodoo

Tue Apr 17 14:56:37 2001

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