"Hey, good idea!" DJ Woohoo chipped in. (Glad I thought of it.)
The others agreed. Even the homicidal Dr. Hello stopped chasing poor Tracy Bigtits to watch what would happen.
The Dutchess reached out into the electrical ether, where she grasped a bony hand and yanked. In stumbled Ghost_hand, an emaciated, enrobed and highly spiritual Author with spooky red eyes.
%Why did you do that?% he said in a sepulchral voice.
"Because you're really the one who got us into this! Now it's your turn to be transgendered!"
%Are you sure it was me?% Ghost_hand asked.
"Don't you try to weasel out of this! We saw you through the ether when it happened, in spite of your hiding behind the name guess! And later on, you admitted it in the Plume! Zap him, You Wish!"
"Why me?" You Wish asked.
"Because your genie powers mean you're the only one who's powers aren't misfiring!"
"Very well. As you wish." You Wish blinked twice, and suddenly Ghost_hand was just as sepulchral but also spored two large, plump, healthy breasts, which stuck quite fetchingly through the robe...
%Wow,% she said. %That was certainly an interesting experience. I notice my name seems to have changed, too -- I seem to have become Most_grand...%
F-cup Ditzgirl giggled. "I'll say you have!"
%Hey, check out the equipment,% said Most_grand. %I think I'll go and masturbate now...%
"Not so fast, boney!" cried Pam Ass. "We've still got to figure out a way out of this!"
"Then we'll go and masturbate!" simpered Bigg Anne.
"Right," nodded Pam.
"We seem to be getting quite a warped sense of priorities here," Dr. Hooker observed.
The others looked up, shocked by what they had been thinking.
"The sensible thing to do," Hooker continued, "would be to find a man!"
Sudden smiles.
"And charge him for it," Hooker went on, a dreamy expression suffusing her own face...
All heads turned towards Doctor Hello.
"Oh oh, not me," he said, edging away. "Current author, whoever you are, get me out of this, or I swear I'll mess up all your threads!"
You don't mess with Mello. The author complied, and Dr. Hello vanished into a new storyline.
The messed-up avatars turned their attention to the Old Wizard next.
"Sure glad you reverted back from being an Old Sorceress last episode," Hooker grinned. "Even if we didn't notice at the time!"
"It was Author error!" the Old Wizard protested. "Honest!"
"Nice try, but you're quite plainly still male -- oh damn!"
The current writer, having had his nose rubbed in the mistake, corrected it, and the Wizard was a Sorceress again.
"Just as well," muttered Tracy Bigtits. "Since he's the one who did this to us in the story, it would have been like rewarding him."
"Her," Dribbler corrected.
"Whatever. So what now?"
Tue Apr 10 12:45:14 2001
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