Backstage at the Bar and Grille

Unending BE - episode 136039

The Old Wizard was still reading the documentation Sid had left for him, trying to get into his new role, when suddenly he had customers. Fortunately, he was on the right page, so he knew who they were -- all Authors. But that was as it should be, he reasoned, since his bar was now the officially-designated Author hangout. Looking up, he recognized: Dr. Hook, a tall, ungainly looking fellow with blond hair, wearing a white lab coat with "St. Kitts and Nevis" on the breast pocket; Conrad Volkov, a distinguished-looking man of about forty-five, in a suit and tie, with a slight unplaceable European accent, who was carrying a battered, bullet-pierced suitcase bearing a sticker that read "SEE SCENIC CLOVIS!"; Quiggman, a somewhat doughy-looking guy with thick horn-rimmed glasses, holding a bottle of Perrier; Louis Epstein, a briefcase-clutching refugee from "Welcome Back, Kotter" impersonating sometime Addventure Author L.E); Panache, who for some reason was not described in the literature; F-Cup Fitzgerald, a tall fellow with brown hair gray at the temples, who fancied himself good-looking, who in spite of his moniker, did not have breasts; Raoul Duke, a dead wringer for Hunter S. Thompson (or possibly just Zonker's Uncle Duke) -- tall, skinny, and bald, smoking a Dunhill in a cigarette holder and brandishing a bottle of Perrier); Tri-City Bendix, a shifty-eyed guy with a bottle of Perrier in one hand and a cigarette in the other, stark-naked and disgruntled because there were almost no chicks in the company; Leviathan, dressed in a Little League manager's outfit with "AJAX BAIL BONDS" written on it, also disgruntled because his team had gotten poofed back to reality in the previous episode; Mello, a very lovely female Author with auburn hair and a shapely rack, who was at some pains to keep several of her colleagues between herself and Tri-City Bendix; You Wish, who was disgruntled just on general principles; and, last, but certainly least, Deja Voodoo who didn't even want to be there because materialization wasn't his schtick, but had to be because he'd gotten written into the thread by Dabbler. It's hard to describe him, as he was rather blurry around the edges, but there was something about him that seemed to say "billboard."

The Old Wizard nodded to his clientele. "Evening, gents," he said. "And lady. What's your pleasure?"

There were ragged cried of "Booze!" "Women!" "Adventure!" "AddVenture!" "Anything but Perrier!"

"Booze I can do. Likewise Anything but Perrier. You're in the AddVenture, just risking being here is an adventure, and as for women -- are any of you interested in sampling some of my Private Reserve?"

  1. *No, but they were certainly amused at DVd's inability to handle boldfacing. They settled for the booze.

  2. Some were, some weren't. Let's see what happens, shall we?

  3. Actually, they weren't interested in an audience, so the scene arbitrarily shifts back to the Backstage Hotel, in a thread where the characters Fitzgerald dumped back there weren't poofed back to their home threads.

  4. *Interestingly, only Mello was interested in sampling the Private Reserve.

  5. *Just then Fruitbat dropped by, surprising the Old Wizard, who had the idea Uncle Sid was the Keeper of the Backstage...

  6. *"No," said Deja Voodoo, "but I'm certainly interested in how you came to be back here when the thread bringing you here hasn't even been written yet!"

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Deja Voodoo

Sat Mar 31 10:33:44 2001

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