"Who are these and when did they show up?" he asked Sendula.
"I think they're the cheerleaders who all looked like Pamela Lee," she replied. "I take it those weren't their natural forms, and you do seem to have restored everyone to normal."
"Ah. That must explain the less drafty look of their vaginas as well," Sid observed. "Obviously, they had been altered to accomodate the dick my nephew walked in with."
"Since when did you pay attention to other women's vaginas?" Credensa intoned, ominously.
"Since it was important to the story," Sid replied. "Don't worry, hon, I may have been a rover in my day, but you now have exclusive dibs on me." Then, seeing an equally ominous look coming over Sendula's face, he hastily added, "and you as well, of course."
"Hmmph!" snorted the two amazons together, molified -- but barely.
"Herd the remaining 'awakes' together, will you?" Sid asked. His wives complied.
"Now," Sid said to them. "You all came in together, after Jim. What's the story?"
He soon elicited the information that their thread's version of Jim had been playing around in the computer lab at school, and suddenly those oddly identical 38DD boobs had appeared on all of them, replacing their natural endowments. Strangely, all had then had the identical urge to remove their clothes and offer themselves as love-slaves to Jim, who had then suggested the orgy...
"That must have been when they were shelved," Sid mused. "And they naturally took the Jim from the cheerleaders' thread as the Jim from their own, as well they might -- since both are versions of the same person. How are you coming with bringing those cheerleaders around, Credensa?"
"I've got one starting to stir," said the amazon. "Sendula hit them pretty hard."
"I hit them just hard enough," Sendula rejoined.
"Whatever. Ah. You would be Cythia, right?" Credensa recognized her from the heart-shaped pendant she had also been wearing in her Pamela Lee form.
The cheerleader nodded.
"Ready for questioning, Husband," Credensa announced.
"Good. Now that she's in her right mind, it should be more productive than the last time I attempted it. Now, my dear..."
The story elicited from Cynthia Bruss bore a generic similarity to that of the computer lab girls. Sid deduced, with the aid of his AddVenture documentation, that their version of Jim had some sort of a wish actualizing ability. (Sid hoped that restoring Jim to normal had removed that little talent.) Once again, the situation had gone to the brink before some author had deftly shelved the girls Backstage.
Dolly, Juanita and Sharon were questioned next. The virtual Ms. Parton proved never to have encountered Jim before her shelving, nor to have even had a real existence in her home thread. As she seemed happy caring for little Alvin, Sid saw no reason to try to rectify her situation. Matters were very different with the other two. Juanita had encountered Jim at the mall, just emerging from some sort of magic shop in some sort of daze. He had apparently been about to sexually assault her when she, too, had been shelved. As for Sharon, Jim had invited her over to his house by phone, only to prove mysteriously absent when she rang the bell. "But I know he was in there," she told Sid. "I peeked in the window and saw him, with a penis longer than the one he showed up here with! I think that strange golden ferret was there as well. I was so mad at him I stormed back to my car and drove home. And the next thing I knew -- I was here!"
Sid nodded. "The ferrets were undoubtedly from that same thread, or close to it. Okay, I think I have enough data to send you all back home, now, and fix things so you won't have to do disagreeable things with my nephew. I realize some of you are angry with him and would like to see him punished. Rest assured that selfish actions in the BE AddVenture generally carry their own punishment. If he isn't brought to task for what he did to you, he almost certainly will be for something else he does. And I'm afraid such moral outrages are one of the basic laws of physics in the world we live in -- when you come right down to it, he's as much a victim of them as you are."
"I'm still not pleased with these revelations," Jennifer Russell said. "I thought I raised my boy better than that, to be a decent human being, not a sexual predator."
Sid sighed. "I'm sure you did," he said, "but our personal moralities along with every other aspect of our characters are subject to sudden change, at the whim and caprice of our authors. We owe our very existences to their sexual perversions, I fear. The 'normality' we perceive as having been violated is the normality of their world, not ours. We should be grateful simply that it seems to hold sway here as well, when they aren't paying attention. And understand, I fully intend to send you back to their inattentive moments, if possible."
"I suppose that's the best we can hope for," Jennifer conceded, grudgingly. "How will you do it?"
"As keeper of the Backstage, I have the power to open portals for the Shelved back to their own realities, when the purpose for which they were shelved has been fulfilled. I believe it has, in your cases, whether that purpose was to frustrate Jim in your home threads or to create chaos here. We can start immediately."
Just then a host of booming, angry Author voices descended on the scene, thundering in all ears.
Hold, base defiler! they roared. You have yet to face your reckoning for usurping the prerogatives of an Author! Before you attempt to undo our carefully laid schemes, you must face punishment!
Go back - Go to the parent episode.
Thu Mar 1 01:15:37 2001
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