And that got Clint to thinking. He had several friends that could use girlfriends like Lavern. And the world was full of snotty bitches (like Dr. Wu) that needed to be brought down a peg or two. (After all, not all women could be as great as his Shari and Jamie.) He began to realize that with the mind-control gun, he could try to solve both problems.
He made a list of all of his friends that had terrible luck with women, writing the names in order of the worst luck at the top and the best luck at the bottom. Topping the list was his good pal Jimbo.
Cooter decided that Jimbo needed a girl, and he was just the one to help him out. He called Jimbo and told him that he wanted to talk to him about something, but that he couldn't discuss it over the phone (after all, there's no telling who might be listening). So, they agreed to meet down near the bar.
Once they were both there, Jimbo asked, "So what's this big secret?"
"Shh. Not here," Clint told him. "Let's just keep walking." They walked a few blocks, and seeing that there was nobody around, Clint began telling Jimbo about the mind control gun, and how he had changed one uptight bitch into the perfect lady for Cooter... and that he'd like to do the same for Jimbo.
Jimbo didn't believe him at first, but it did seem to make sense: Cooter *had* just gotten a girl to move in with him rather suddenly, and Jimbo didn't know how else that could've happened. So, Jimbo said, "Sure, if you c'n give me a gal like that, I ain't about to complain."
"Good," Clint replied. "But first, we need to find some woman that deserves to be changed."
"Yeah, and she oughta look sexy too," Jimbo told him.
Meanwhile, the two rednecks were completely unaware that a character from another thread somewhere in the addventure was arriving here in this episode. Sean, seemingly cursed to travel from 1000-episode to 1000-episode while never knowing the numerical reason, appeared on the sidewalk in front of the two men, who weren't paying attention to what was ahead of them, intent as they were on their conversation. Sean, who's last 1000-episode appearance was 369000, currently had the appearance of a golden-skinned huge-breasted woman wearing a tight black minidress that barely contained her huge breasts, and through the fabric of which, one could almost make out the outline of nipple rings. Sean was holding the one wishing pill that she had managed to hold onto, and was about to consider how to phrase a wish in order to return her former manhood, while also getting some other benefits out of the wish.
Sean's back was turned to the two men, so she didn't see them. And they didn't see her, as they walked forward. So it was inevitable that they would bump into her. As they did, Sean dropped the pill into the tall grass by the side of the road.
"Damn it, watch where you're going, you idiots," Sean yelled at the two men who were awestruck by her beauty as they saw her for the first time. "Now where did that pill go?" Sean muttered to herself as she bent over to search the ground for the pill.
Clint and Jimbo just stared at her as her minidress rose up when she bent over, giving them a clear view of her ass. Then, Clint whispered to Jimbo, "Hey, what about her?"
Jimbo couldn't help but smile as a boner began forming in his pants. "Yeah. Yeah, she'll do."
So, Clint, checking again that there was nobody else around, pulled out the mind control gun and fired it. A dart flew out and hit Sean in the butt.
Sean felt the sudden minor pain in the ass, turned, and rushed forward, grabbing ahold of Clint's gun. "What the hell was that for? Can't you leave me alone while I look for my pill?"
"What's so important about a pill?" Jimbo asked, and suddenly Sean seemd forced to answer, as the hypnotic drug began to work.
"It's a magic wishing pill. You make a wish on it, and then the wish affects whoever swallows the pill."
Clint was surprised by this answer. That sounded impossible, but he'd seen some damn strange things lately, so it might be possible. And she shouldn't be able to lie while drugged. That pill could have possibilities. But first, he needed to deal with this woman now. She was holding onto the gun, trying to take it away from him, so he'd better give her a command to stop.
Sun Oct 24 17:49:26 2004
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