"Oh no!" he cried, as the process continued. "I'm disappearing! Help!" The next guard caught him by the ankles, and the guard after that his, and so on, with Aladdin tackling the last, until there was a whole chain consisting of one princess, six guards, and one street rat, all desperately trying not to vanish, and none of them succeeding. Somewhere, Mirage was laughing...
They all reappeared in a heap on the table from which Sidney Russell, Keeper of the BE AddVenture's Backstage, was trying to eat supper, in the company of his wives, B-Movie amazons Sendula and Credensa.
"Oh great," said Sid. "Why does this always seem to happen during dinner?"
"You lied to me, Sid Russell!" shouted Jasmine, pointing an accusing finger at him. "You said Aladdin would accept me as I was!"
Sid sighed. "Hello, Princess Jasmine. I'm sorry it worked out that way for you, but I didn't lie. Your paramour probably did, in an alternative plot line. But what happens to us characters in the BE AddVenture is completely dependant on the whims of our authors. Remember? That's how you ended up coming back here the first time, afflicted by Mirage's sex/BE curse."
"Mirage's what?" asked Aladdin, obviously confused.
Sid ignored him, and continued to address Jasmine. "I do hope you're over that, by the way," he went on. "There have been a lot of events in my personal timeline since I saw you last, and I'm now married, twice over." He motioned a hand to each of his companions, sitting on either side of him. "My wives, Sendula and Credensa," he said, by way of introduction.
"Charmed," said Sendula, frostily. They had heard all about Jasmine and her little escapade with their husband. Credensa didn't say anything, but merely tightened her grip on the spear she had seized as soon as the dinner table had been disrupted.
Meanwhile, Razoul and his flunkies were all looking around wildly, goggle-eyed at their surroundings, and gibbering like they had learned to speak from Abu the monkey. "W-w-w-women," Razoul managed, finally. "Unveiled w-w-women!" As the two busty, muscular amazons were currently in their native state of undress, that was quite an understatement. The poor guards were obviously completely unmanned by the spectacle. Credensa, sizing up her advantage, took advantage of their funk to unarm them as well, and herd them off the table into a corner, where she stook guard with spear held at a significantly low angle. Sendula remained with their husband.
"I don't understand any of this," Aladdin was saying.
Sid finally deigned to notice him. "The short of it is, you ought to believe Jasmine. Unlike you, if I remember your movies correctly, she is in the habit of telling the truth, and considering all she's been through lately, I would say her mind is, if anything, exceptionally stable. The long of it is --" Sid launched into the Standard Explanation of Life, the BE AddVenture, and Everything.
Aladdin was suitably horrified, and properly apologetic towards Jasmine. "Oh Jasmine!" he cried. "Can you ever forgive me?"
"That rather depends on the author of the moment, doesn't it?" she responded sulking, her arms folded over her naked and oversized bosom.
Sid glanced up.
"Oh Aladdin!" cried the princess.
"Oh Jasmine!" cried the street rat.
They flew into each other's arms. Heavy petting ensued.
"Keep it clean, kids!" Sid growled. "There are guardsmen and other delicate minds present." (His wives, who for the BE AddVenture were relative innocents in the ways of lovemaking, were watching with distinct interest.) Sid glanced up again. "Deja Voodoo? I think this situation is resolved. Is this crew done being shelved, yet, or do I have to find jobs for them, too?"
(Sigh! I really hadn't intended to hijack DVd's personna more than once in this episode. Maybe I can just take care of this one silently...)
Instantly, the Arabian lovers and their guardly entourage vanished back into their own world. Into separate rooms, naturally, so as not to shock the delicate sensibilities of the guardsmen. And, just for good measure, their tormentor Mirage appeared backstage in their place, naked, with her hands and feet bound in chains. (Light chains, with plenty of play for movement -- I'm not cruel. Not very, anyway.) Let's all give Al and Jas a little break for a change, all right?
Sid Russell eyed the new arrival with a jaundiced eye. "Okay, I'll bite," he said. "Who are you and what are you doing here?"
The cat-headed mistress of illusion bowed her head in submission. "I am Mirage, arch-fiend, foe of Jasmine and Aladdin, officially designated BE AddVenture pain-in-the-ass to the Court of Agrabah, and getter-of-the-hero-and-heroine-into-horrible-situations," she replied. "I have caused them no end of trouble, not only in the BE AddVenture, but also in their cartoon series. In light of my activities, I am surprised you failed to recognize me, O Great One."
"Sorry," Sid said. "Only saw the movies, never watched the cartoons. And the AddVenture isn't usually stocked with a visual component, so I know you only by reputation. You wouldn't happen to be here to make my life miserable, would you?"
"Alas no, O Great One. I have been sent here to atone for my atrocious behavior by serving as your slave for an indeterminate time before being booted back out to the AddVenture at large. My powers may be exercised only at and according to your bidding, and my mind and body are yours to command."
"Hmm, could be interesting I suppose, but my wives might have something to say about that body part. How about we nip the jealousy thing in the bud by putting your mind and body at their command?"
"If my lord so orders, it shall be so."
"Your lord so orders."
Turning away from him, she prostrated herself before the amazons, inadvertantly giving Sid a spectacular view of the ass beneath that feline tail... "Mistresses! I am yours to command."
"Fine," said Sendula, not entirely placated. "Why don't you clean up that mess your friends made of our supper table and reset it?"
"We could use a replacement feast too," Credensa added. "Well? Hop to it, girl!"
Mirage hopped to it, and eventually, Sid, Sendula and Credensa were once more sitting down to their interupted supper.
Fri Feb 23 10:40:11 2001
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