Woody Creek Tavern

Unending BE - episode 129560

But each of the characters did not step through into his OWN world. Due to an oversight on the part of Uncle Sid, all the characters stepped through into the SAME world. . . .

. . . Which, in this case, was Raoul's. . . .

Focus, if you will, on a small mountain pond, about 12 feet deep, in front of a wooden building with neon signs in the windows. Then focus your attention on the screams: those are the screams of men falling through the air. And suddenly, from the top of the "shot" fall three characters, who land in the frigid lake with a loud SPLASH!

The characters flounder the few yards through the frigid water and collapse on the shore of the lake, just behind the wooden building. They are all breathing heavily.

"Wh-where the hell ARE we?" asks Dr. Hook.

"Goddammit!" shouts Raoul Duke. "We're back at my place! This is the Woody Creek Tavern, in Woody Creek, Colorado!" The three men drag themselves inside, into the relative warmth. They pass a pool table and a dart board and clump up the backstairs. In a corner of an upstairs room is a card table with an old Underwood typewriter on it. Next to that is a computer with an active Internet connection. A voice calls from downstairs, and the three men look over the railing. Downstairs is a large man, about three hundred pounds, with frizzy black hair and mustache, maybe Hispanic, maybe Samoan. "What's all that yelling?" the man shouts, waving a bottle of Heineken.

"Nothing, Box. We've been away, but now we're back." This was Raoul's voice. "Gentlemen, this is Oscar Acosta, also known as The Box the Game Came In. Box, this is Dr. Hook and F-Cup Fitzgerald!"

Hook, a tall, lumpy-looking blond-haired gentleman, wearing a white lab coat with "St. Kitts and Nevis" on the pocket, waved hello at TBTGCI. Fitzgerald, tall and reasonably well-built, with brown hair, in a rumpled black three-piece suit, also waved. "As your attorney, I advice you to get out of those wet clothes before you freeze your ass off, Duke." The Box went back to the bar and ordered a cheeseburger. Hook and Fitzgerald went into the bathroom to try to dry themselves under a hot-air blower.

Duke took his place in front of the computer keyboard. He stuffed a plastic Dr. Grabow pipe full of bad hash and lit it. "Okay, you arrogant bastard, let's see how you like THIS. . . ." He begins writing an episode which sends Uncle Sid to his horrible fate. . . .

  1. *Uncle Sid is now Aunt Cyd. HAR-HAR-HAR!
  2. *Uncle Sid is striken with permanent impotence. Don't worry, Sid, it happens to a lot of guys! HAR-DE-HAR-HAR!
  3. *Uncle Sid becomes the love slave of Elvira, the oversexed Mitress of the Dark and sometime ruler of the world. Well, one of the versions of the world, anyway. . . .
  4. *The Men in Gray have put out a hit on Sid! Serves him right, but at least the fight will be interesting!
  5. Screw Uncle Sid, thinks Raoul, I'm going to conjure up Alyson Hannigan and Sarah Michelle Gellar! Let's see . . . their car is just now breaking down outside this very tavern. . . . MWAHAHAHA!
  6. *Raoul has writer's block, for the time being, and pleads *SOMETHING ELSE*
Go back - Go to the parent episode.


F-Cup Fitzgerald

Wed Feb 21 16:17:45 2001