"Might I make a suggestion?" said Hook. "We have the remote itself. Why not ask it?"
"That would be opening our souls to mortal peril!" thundered Duke.
"We're all perverts doing things to women our mothers wouldn't like," Hook pointed out. "We're already in mortal peril."
"True. Okay, let's give it a shot." Duke, having read the documentation, naturally knew all about how to go about it. First he hit CO. Then he intoned, "Hear me, foul object. Reveal unto us thy creator!"
He waited expectantly. Nothing happened.
"You have to hit DN," said the Cat.
"Oh. Right. I knew that." Duke hit DN.
Words appeared in the air above the remote.
Deja Voodoo, working through Sid and Jim Russell.
"We knew that," said the Cat. "Ask it who created the original remote."
Duke COed, gave the appropriate command, and DNed. Once again, words appeared.
Working...
MarkT reference 7225, Sunday, Sep 20, 1998. Jim comes into possession of
Remote number 1 and makes first use thereof.
Episode author unrecorded, lost to this reality. Search further?
"Tell it yes," said the Cat. Duke did.
Working...
MarkT reference 682, Sunday, Sep 20, 1998. Jim discovers the remote in
the pocket of a jacket.
Episode author unrecorded, lost to this reality. Search further?
"Yes!" snarled the Cat. Duke yessed it.
Working...
MarkT reference 223, Thursday, Jul 2, 1998. The men's clothing rack on
which the jacket is found written into reality.
Episode author The Sencho. Search further?
Duke yessed it without prompting.
Working...
MarkT reference 70, Tuesday, Jun 30, 1998. Enchanted clothing and costume
section in which the clothing rack is found written into reality.
Episode author The Sencho. Search further?
Yes!
Working...
MarkT reference 22, Monday, Jun 29, 1998. Jim enters the magic shop and
something catches his eye.
Episode author Breast Obsessed. Search further?
Yes!
Working...
MarkT reference 12, Monday, Jun 29, 1998. Spells R Us shop first written
into continuity and catches Jim's attention.
Episode author not recorded, lost to this reality. Trail dissipates: no
earlier trace of Remote number 1. What now, boss?
The AddVenturers looked at each other in despair.
"The Sencho and Breast Obsessed are implicated," Duke said, hopefully.
"But the authors at the exact moments in which the remote begins to come into focus are unrecorded," stated the Cat. "Ditto the author of the moment the magic shop appears. I know that shop -- the Old Wizard who runs it might be able to shed some light on the in-story origin of the remote, I suppose. But that brings us no closer to who really wrote it in -- assuming that author even knew what he or she was doing."
Hook nodded. "I understand the first remote was actually first envisioned as an ordinary TV remote," he noted. "Ordinary as anything found in a magic shop could be, anyway."
"Which brings us back to the question the remote just asked," said the Cat. "What now?"
Wed Feb 21 11:11:08 2001
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