Bodyswapping Jim and Sharon do that thousand episode thing

Unending BE - episode 78000

The perfume was really not the most convenient substance in the world, and in fact not ideally suited to Jim's scheme at all. According to the directions, any woman who applied it would then swap forms with the first person she had sex with -- if they had sex within two hours of the application. The effects were temporary, wearing off in roughly six to eight hours depending on the body weight of the person wearing the perfume. (Or perhaps of the person she swapped forms with, since the text did not make it clear whether weight before or after the swap was meant. That was the trouble with directions that were printed in Japan and plainly translated from the original language via Babelfish -- they weren't always crystal clear.)

So for Jim's plan to work out that evening, too things had to happen. Sharon had to be taken enough with the perfume to put some on in fairly short order, and he had to entice her into a sexual encounter in fairly short order after that. He grimaced in frustration. Why did it have to be so complicated? A pity the stuff didn't just work on males directly, instead of second-hand. Then he could just apply it, and ...

What? Force her to have sex with him? Oh sure, that was just the way to keep their relationship going -- not! The whole thing was just going to be work, that's all. Maybe he should just tell her how it worked? Or would that just, like, totally freak her out?

No time to figure it out now. While he had been ruminating, Sharon had gotten out of her car and advanced to the door, and now the bell was ringing.

Jim went to open the door for her.

"Hi, Sharon!" he exclaimed, offering the gift. "Happy--"

"Don't get me started, Jim," she snapped, brushing his hand aside and stalking in. "I've had a bitch of a day! You wouldn't believe what I've had to put up with from all those jerks at work today! The women are bad enough, but the men! No matter how hard I work they still just treat me like I was a simple-minded piece of ass! There's not a single one of them that can see past these!" She thrust her chest out angrily. "Sometimes I wish I was a man, so they'd judge me on what I do instead of how I look!"

"What a coincidence," Jim said, sensing an opening. He raised the gift again. "As it happens--"

"Thank God you're not like them, Jim, I think I'd go insane. As it is, just seeing you there, one more man, almost makes me want to scream. If I hadn't already promised to come over--"

"Actually, I might have the cure for that, too. Look at what I have for--"

"And I've been having the most ferocious migraines all day, and there's this stupid so-called public service announcement on the car radio that just wouldn't quit -- something about the number "78000," as if that was supposed to be significant or something. As if!"

"The announcer was obviously delusional," Jim agreed soothingly, dismissing it from his mind. "I've got a gift for you."

Sharon brightened up slightly. "You do? Jim, sometimes I think you're the only thoughtful male on this planet. What's the occasion?"

"Surely you can't have forgotten what day this is!"

Okay, what is it with these two? I flashed 'em a reminder of what episode it is so they'd know the Addventure had hit another thousand episode milestone, and they just blow it off. Who cares what day it is? Don't they realize this is a special occasion regardless?

Evidently not.

Just for that I'm going to give them a set of crappy next-episode options.

  1. It turns out that Sharon's period also started that day. So much for perfumed sex and body-swapping for now.
  2. Jim gives Sharon the perfume, but chickens out on telling her what it's for and how it works. She pockets it and forgets about it until the next night, when she uses it before going out on a date with someone else. (Poor Jim doesn't know that Sharon doesn't view their relationship as exclusive.)
  3. Jim enthusiasticaly spills everything about the perfume to Sharon, only to have her tell him she thinks the whole idea is sick.
  4. Jim accidentally spills the perfume.
  5. Jim tells Sharon all about the perfume, and she is intrigued, even though she suspects it's just an excuse to get her into bed. She puts some on, and they do get into bed. Unfortunately...
  6. Something Other.
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Tue Jan 19 19:43:40 2010