Jim and Linger do that thousand episode thing

Unending BE - episode 43000

Impelled by the little red imp, Jim the dog trotted away from the Spells 'R' Us shop through the rest of the mall. Every so often Linger would order him to stop so he could cause some mischief. Like when they passed the lingerie shop.

It wasn't any great shakes -- this was a seedy little mall, after all, it's not like the place was Victoria's Secret, or anything. Nevertheless, it did have the usual tall, slender female manikins in various states of undress. "In honor of my old pal at SRU!" Linger announced, and suddenly all the manikins assumed voluptuous proportions, their plastic busts ballooning to the size of basketballs, and their simplified anatomy becoming anatomically correct. "Hmm, something missing," Linger mused. "Not perverse enough." With these words about half of the manikins sprouted male genitalia. "That will do," the imp decided. "Move on, James."

Jim, perforce, moved on.

The next place he was ordered to stop proved to be a clock store. Oddly, even though it was still short of noon, every clock in the place had the hour hand on the four and the minute hand on the three, and every digital clock was blinking "43000."

"What did you do that for?" Jim yipped, curios in spite of himself.

"Nothing," said the imp. "It struck me as odd, too. It's almost as if it means something, like the world itself is trying to tell us something..."

Wait for it...

Linger shrugged. "Oh well, can't be anything too important." With a wave of his hand he added the number 13 to every clock and bade Jim continue on.

The stupidity of these characters! I practically spell it out for them in a way they can't help but notice, and still they ignore the event! Still they fail to celebrate the fact the the Addventure has reached another thousand episode milestone! Does no one pay attention to these things but me, and Adama, and Sean?

They will pay for this. I have spoken.

Linger cocked his head slightly. "Has someone just spoken?" he asked.

Jim did a sort of canine shrug, which to his surprise almost made the imp fall off his neck. "Wasn't me," he yipped. "Thanks to you and your stupid wizard friend, all I can speak is dog talk."

Linger shrugged in turn and exhibited more stupidity. "Oh well, can't be anything too important," he said again. "Take me over to that Orange Julius. I'm going to turn all their juices to sewage sludge. And no more trying to throw me off!"

"Right, boss," said Jim, with a canine sigh, and trotted over towards the Orange Julius.

Bad options happened.

  1. Suddenly, their minds were switched, with Jim's entering Linger's body and Linger's entering Jim's. The imp's powers, unfortunately for him, remained in his original body. "Drat that wizard!" the imp yipped. "I should have known he couldn't resist a joke!"
  2. Jim found a pair of shapely legs blocking his way, and looked up to see that they belonged to Sharon. "Oh, how cute," Sharon cooed. "Roll over!" Obediently, Jim rolled over, squishing the imp.
  3. Then aliens attacked.
  4. But to Linger's disappointment, the Orange Julius was closed.
  5. On the way, they encountered another pekingnese being ridden by another imp. "Jim?" the other dog yipped. "Is that you?" Somehow, Jim recognized the other dog as his best friend Rick. "Oh no!" Linger cried. "It's my arch-enemy, Azazel!"
  6. Something Other
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Wed Jan 13 23:15:56 2010