Taking a long sip from the coffee mug, Jim slid his pinkie under the edge of the flap and slid it across, tearing open the top of the envelope...
"What the..." Jim exclaimed, shocked. The half-full mug bounced across the faded linoleum floor, coffee splattering every, as Jim instinctively recoiled from the puff of foul-smelling smoke that suddenly burst from the opened envelope.
Then the smoke cleared - and standing on Jim's table was...
A man? Well, sure - if you ignored the fact he was about an inch-and-a-half tall, and a dark read in color.
Jim shook his head to clear it. He looked back at the table.
The little man was still there. Hands on his hips. tapping his tiny foot impatiently.
"Yes... I'm real. No, you're not hallucinating, dreaming or drunk. This isn't a joke, there's no hidden camera, and don't try calling the National Inquest." The tiny man had a suprisingly deep, resonant voice, and he was obviously well aware of what was running through the flabergasted young man's mind.
"But... You.... How.... What...?" Was the best Jim could do, at the moment.
"I'm an imp." The tiny man said. He made a mocking bow. "Brodlinger Actnastee, at my service." He straightened. "You're to be my mortal for the next one-hundred and sixty-eight hours."
Jim blinked. "Huh? Your mortal? What do you...."
The imp sighed impatiently. "Look, stupid - I'm a minor demon, got it? And, minor don't mean much hear on your plane - I got power to spare, here. But the rules say I gotta have a mortal servent to carry me through the Earthly realm - kinda a 'guide' routine. Since you opened the letter, you de facto agreed to be my... 'pet dog' for the next week."
Jim slumped to a chair, stunned. "But... what are you... I mean... Why are you here?"
The fiend laughed. "Vacation, moron. I'm here to have some fun. To use my powers to create mischeif. be nice, and I might do you a favor or two. Just don't missbehave, stupid."
Jim still wasn't sure he believed this was happening, but.. "Uh uh - no way, buddy. I'm not helping you make..."
Brodlinger negligently waved a tiny hand - and Jim shut up.
He didn't have a choice. Becuase his mouth had vanished, leaving an unbroken expanse of skin from his nose to his jaw-line.
Just as Jim began to panic, Brodlinger waved his hand, and Jim's mouth was restored. Stunned - and a little afraid, Jim worked his Jaw, making sure everything was okay. "What... what do you want me to do?" Jim asked, hesitantly.
The imp smiled. "You can call me Linger - or Sir. As for what we're gonna do... "He grinned, wickedly. "You're gonna put on a jacket with a pocket I can sit in. Then, you just go... somewhere. And I see what opportunities for mischeif that place presents.
Jim considered arguing - but eating would be tough without a mouth - and that had just been a warning shot.
Swallowing, Jim pulled on a jean jacket, and Linger climbed into the breast pocket. Jim left the apartment, locking the door behind him, and tried to think of a way to get rid of the tiny demon while his feet, sort or running on 'autopilot' carried him to...
Wed Oct 6 00:25:57 1999