Robyn, Robyn and Jim do that thousand episode thing

Unending BE - episode 38000

Jim's digital watch started blinking the number "38000" all of a sudden, indicating that the Addventure had reached another thousand episode milestone, but wouldn't you know it, the fool never even noticed. Of course, he did have more interesting things to look than his watch.

Meanwhile, the stupid Robyn duplicate went right on with the scenario optioned, asking Jim if it was Rick's place that he meant by "home." She never noticed the watch either.

"Of course not," Jim said. "We're going to your home. You know, the place you've always lived?"

The not-so-stupid but aspiring to idiocy original Robyn (also Robyn, she reminded herself, as her new ID had designated her) nodded to herself. Of course. Home meant home. How stupid could her new duplicate get? Then she felt ashamed of herself, realizing that she shouldn't look down on someone whose abysmal level of intelligence she also hoped to achieve. To make up for it, she asked "Why?" After all, that was something she was actually ignorant about, so there could be nothing intelligent about asking. Even as she uttered the word, she peripherally noticed Jim's watch was flashing "38000" and idly wondered why in regard to that as well. Smart girl!

Jim smiled. "A little test of submissiveness for both of you. You're going to parade around naked in front of your parents and royally freak them out to demonstrate how completely mine you are. What do you think of that, slaves?"

"I have parents?" asked the bimbo duplicate Robyn, confused.

Of course I do, the original Robyn thought, but wisely kept the thought to herself, less she seem more intelligent than her original. Then she realized that in wisely keeping it to herself she had by that very action demonstrated intelligence, even if no one but she realized it, and felt ashamed again. Should she blurt out the rejoinder, which would be stupid, because it would demonstrate her intelligence to others? No, that would be stupid, because it would, well, make her seem intelligent because it would demonstrate her intelligence to others, even though it would actually be stupid to do so. Damn, she thought. There's more to being stupid than I thought. I've got to figure out how to stop being so fucking smart. No wait ... I shouldn't, because figuring things out would be intelligent...

While she was having this mental meltdown, Jim was castigating her duplicate. "Of course you have parents!" He snapped. "You're a duplicate of Robyn, here, so her parents are your parents! How stupid can you get?"

"I don't know," said the duplicate plaintively. "How stupid do you want me to be?"

"Just stupid enough to answer my questions without asking any back!" He said. "Well?"

"Well what?" she asked, innocently.

"You're asking a question," he warned her. "You're supposed to be answering."

"Answering what?" she asked. She had forgotten.

"You did it again!"

"Sorry," the duplicate whimpered.

Red with anger, Jim turned to the original Robyn. "You answer!" he ordered.

"Um, I think that would be ... swell? Exciting? Yes, that's it," Robyn said, realizing that it would be exciting to freak her parents out, as her master commanded. Maybe she could even make them horny...

"Very good." He turned back to the duplicate. "And what do you think?" he queried, in a leading tone.

"Um, I think what she thinks?" the duplicate Robyn asked.

"Is that a question or a statement?" Jim asked, warningly.

"Um, a statement?" the duplicate asked, catching on.

Jim sighed. "Good, or it would be, if you hadn't put it as a question again."

"A statement!" she declared happily, finally getting the hang of it.

Jim looked at the original Robyn. "Evidently, I went too low on the intelligence thing. You sure you want to be that stupid?"

"Yes!" Robyn declared, happy in turn. This could be fun, messing with their master like this.

Okay, enough messing around for now. Time to move on to the next episode. Since Jim and the bimbo duplicate didn't notice the milestone, the options I'm about to spring on them will be bad for both. Since the original Robyn did notice, even if she didn't realize what it meant, she shall be rewarded. I have spoken.

  1. >Plainly, the most merciful way to reward her would be to put her out of her misery by making an end to this degrading, humiliating scenario -- which will also be sufficiant punishment for that pervert Jim and that idiot duplicate. Here goes: Wake up, Jim!
  2. By Authorial decree, the roles are reversed. The original Robyn is now the master, and Jim and the duplicate Robyn (who is now a duplicate Jim) are the slaves. Oh, and Robyn the master is fully clothed and back to her original physical dimensions, while the other two are just, well, Jims. Take it away, Robyn!
  3. Unfortunately, in her present state, the only reward Robyn wants is to be just as dumb as the duplicate Robyn. I reluctantly acceed to her wish. Jim's punishment is to be as dumb as the duplicate Robyn too. The duplicate Robyn's punishment is to phrase every statement from now on in the form of a question without realizing it, even though that will continue to infuriate Jim.
  4. Unfortunately, what Robyn most wants right now is to follow through on Jim's perverse scenario, so that will be her reward. Without further ado we will adjourn to her folks' place and observe her and her duplicate as they proceed to enact it. The duplicate Robyn's punishment is to be sexually attracted to gerbils. The duplicate Jim's punishment is to be sexually attracted to floor lamps.
  5. Magically, the oriiginal Robyn finds herself President of the United States, while the duplicate Robyn finds herself tranformed into a gerbil, and Jim finds himself imprisoned, naked, in a maximum security prison surrounded by sixteen other burly, perverted, and sex-starved inmates.
  6. Something Other.
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Fri Jan 08 05:19:12 2010