It all started when Jim phoned me to hurry up and get to his girlfriend's house. His voice sounded kinda strange, however, and he seemed really excited about something. I had other things on my hands -- specifically, I myself had something quite exciting to show HIM, my own homemade car mp3-player. We had started working on the thing at the exact same moment, and made a little wager about it -- pizzas and cokes for a week for who completed it first. Now it was quite something, wasn't it? Well, I was just in the process of stuffing the good old 486 beneath my VW Beetle's rear seat, and sure as heck wasn't quitting that, either. I told him to wait a few minutes, that I had a surprise. Strangely enough, he replied that he too had a surprise. I hoped our wager didn't end up being a draw! So, about thirty minutes later I was done. Taken twenty seconds or so to load the BIOS and the operating system, the little thing was happily playing The Unforgiven and I was on my way to Sharon's -- I remember reasoning that Jim's surprise could not be his own player, I mean, why the heck waste time bringing it to Sharon who never was technically minded in the first place? Now, I didn't mention that my Beetle is a little special, but later on that. When I finally arrived, Sharon's house was somewhat in turmoil. I could see that all the curtains were closed and something was definitely going on inside. It sounded like one of those late-night parties Jim and I never get invited to, but what the heck, it was barely five PM! This is the first reason why I thought that something was wrong. Another strange thing was a super soaker in the garden... it was all silver-shiny and looked like one of those funky weapons from Men in Black, you know? Well, anyway. I knocked at the door and this really WONDERFUL chick answered me. The wacked thing was that she was flaunting four, count'em four boobs in my face. By a rough estimate they weren't more than a high B or a low C cup, but what the heck? four breasts? Was THIS Jim's surprise? With the most sweet talk she let me come in. By then I was definitely in full alert, specifically as far as she was concerned. That's when I noticed a detail, a tatoo she had on her back signalling her blood type. Zero negative. That's pretty rare, and I know of only one person with that -- and the tatoo in the same place, too. Coincidence? Well, it had to be, since this person was a 50 years old war veteran. Anyway, she let me in. Inside was going on something that I only saw in a couple of really poor sci-fi flicks -- I'd have called it an alien orgy. Mind you, the "aliens" all looked mostly humans, except that their sexual features had been... well, upgraded. There were also some more of those shiny super soakers lying around. Say twelve "people" and eight or nine guns. Then guess what, I see Sharon! At first it looks like she's become a she-male (never mind the six tits, they looked kinda normal in that place) then I notice the slit below her dick. Call that weird! She greets me like it was nothing and invites me to join the fun. One of the other mutants besides, interrupted what he was doing and sprayed me with the gun! I felt immediately numb and sexually ready. Now I know that those guns carried this sort of regenerating horniness inducer, something feromone-based possibly... it sure stinks of Coke when the effect is gone. I almost I'm sure I'd have accepted Sharon's offer if it wasn't for that. You see, I'm used to practice self control and that perfume thing was making me lose it at an alarming rate. That's how I broke free, by instinctual reaction. I was really lucky, or so I thought. And then I was off, running away like crazy. I did remember to grab the abandoned water pistol before jumping on the Beetle and speeding away. The mp3 player was running "It's the end of the world as we know it", you know like in ID4? Well, wasn't it right! Something had to be done. I went home in a flash and called all my nerd friends over the groundwave LAN. There was one guy, Thomas, who was a regular of the BEArchive and told me he read something like this on there. Most of the people I contacted promised to be at my house in twenty minutes. Heck, two guys said they were joining the sex-freaks instead! I read the first chapters of the Essence saga while I waited for my workgroup-to-be. Weird as it was, it sounded all too plausible. I also noticed that some guy wrote a different turn of events in the same saga. It was written much more poorly, but it did sound plausible too -- at least there was an alternative. Then the bell rang. It was the first three friends of mine, Steve, Livio and Daniel. We were definitely a bunch of nerds, and well I'm sure as heck PROUD of it now. That's when we made a plan...Go back - Go to the parent episode.
Conrad Volkov!Tue Jun 22 23:01:28 1999