Disoriented Jim

Unending BE - episode 28205

"You must have been really wasted last night," Sarah giggled as she reached up over the bed to pull open the curtains. Sunlight streamed in. Jim blinked confusedly, focusing his gaze on the bedsheets in order to avoid staring too obviously at her. He felt pretty sure this was all a dream, and was ready to wake up at any moment. He pinched himself, then blinked. She was still there. Sitting in his bed. Sitting in his fucking bedroom. Who the fuck WAS she??? Think, Jim, think!

"Uh, Jim?" Sarah asked cautiously. She started to look at him with more concern. She moved to put her arms around him, but he backed away so suddenly that she appeared to change her mind. His mouth fluttered open and shut several times, but no sound came out; his vocal cords were temporarily out of order.

"Uh, Jim, you do RECOGNIZE me, don't you?"

Jim shook his head, his mouth still open. He was starting to panic, despite his increasing awareness of just how sexy this person in bed with him really was. He tried pinching himself again on the arm, harder this time, and still nothing changed. Something was wrong here.

"Jim, are you all right??"

"You can't be my girlfriend!!!" Jim protested feebly, finally getting the old windpipes to work again. "I-- I've got a girlfriend named Sharon!!! And she definitely, DEFINITELY" he said emphatically, "does NOT look like you." He gestured wildly at her body.

Sarah just rolled her eyes. "Noooo, sweetie, you were with Sharon several years ago. In high school."

"Ha ha, nooooo, I AM in high school."

"No, dear, you're not. High school was a loooooong time ago," she said in a patronizingly cutesy voice, as if talking to a child. Then when Jim didn't respond, her seriousness returned and she put an arm around his shoulder. "Are you okay, Jim?"

"Wh- what year is it? Who's the president?"

She arched her eyebrows at him incredulously. "You mean the president of the United States? George W Bush."

Jim breathed a huge sigh of relief. "All right, so at least this isn't some kind of weird time travel thing -- ahhhh, waaaaaaitaminute, wait. What did you say? "W"?

A lengthy pause ensued.

  1. *"Jim," said Sarah, "maybe you'd better go take a look at yourself in the mirror."
  2. "Jim," said Sarah, "there's something you should know."
  3. "Jim," said Sarah, "maybe I'd better take you to see a doctor or something."
  4. *"Jim," said Sarah, "I don't believe you. Don't tell me you've forgotten all about me!"
  5. Suddenly the lights flickered, as a giant gust of SOMETHING ELSE blew into the room.
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Wed Jun 19 12:52:22 2002