O-Zone: A Whole New World

Unending BE - episode 1810

God decided to make a whole new world from the wreckage of the old. Wishing to make a clean start, she cut it completely off from the destruction of the previous one, thus thrusting it into

THE ORPHAN ZONE

Which, interestingly enough, did more than God intended. Some time back, you see, the Old Wizard at the Backstage Bar & Grill had supplied the Orphan Episode Asylum with doctored milk from the transgendered Author known as Dribbler. It had the effect of making all inhabitants of affected Orphan Episodes female upon actualization of the episode. Later, the mischief perpetrated by the Old Wizard had been largely undone. But, it seems, not wholly. One or two affected episodes were missed. This one, for example.

That's why, as soon as the new creation went into the Orphan Zone, God went female, for instance. And why everything in the new creation is going to be female as well...

Enough exposition. Let's watch the festivities.

In the beginning there was the Maid, and the Maid had Tits, and the Tits were bigger than anything you can imagine. And behold, the Tits brought forth Milk, and the Milk filled the void, and since the Maid was in that Void, the Maid drowned. And God saw that it was not good.

Scratch one Maid. But the Tits were too big to scratch, and therefore God in Her Wisdom took the Tits and made from them a World, combining the Tits One with the Other to form a Globe, and because She wished that Globe to be Lit, She made the Sun and Moon and Stars and all that sort of thing.

And God gathered up the Milk and formed from it Seas, and the Globe she called Dry Land. Then she brought forth from the Seas and on the Dry Land all manner of living things. And they were all female. Every single blessed one of them! Fortunately, God has always been big on virgin birth. Fortunately, because that was all there was going to be here!

Then God rested, and the ages, passed, and it was the Twentieth Century of Our Lady, Jesia Christ. World without Fun, Amen! Or World without Men -- no fun! And there we begin our story...

  1. *It was a brand new day, and Jane woke up to find...

  2. It happened during the Geraldine Lewis annual lesbian telethon...

  3. After a bitterly contested election, Georgette Bush took office as President, having defeated Alberta Gore via a Supreme Court Decision...

  4. Her Holiness Pope Joan-Paulette II declared, all evidence to the contrary, that the virgin birth of Jesia Christ had indeed been a miracle and not just an everyday occurance...

  5. *Scientists experimenting with a dimensional gateway accidentally discovered a parallel universe inhabited by unimaginably strange beings called men... (hey, gotta get 'em into the storyline somehow...)

  6. *Some Other Author Thinks of Something Else to hang a plot on in this new world...
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Dribbler (can't be Dabbler in this world, obviously!)

Tue May 29 14:46:02 2001

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