The Flower Lady

Unending BE - episode 41

Jim decided to nip out to the local florist to pick up a dozen roses for Sharon. However when he got there it had been replaced by some sort of a new-age techno shop. inside the store everthing was bathed in heavy blue light. The absurdly chesty salesgirl was wearing a skin-tight latex jumpsuit with a danderously low neckline and a diamond cut out of the front to expose her muscular tummy. To Jim it seemed that somehow her skin would have been blue even without the heavy lighting. He decided to greet her first.

"Hello, I was looking for Happ-Sunny flowers. do you know thier new location?"

"No I don't, but we do have quite an assortment of plants here, if that's what you're looking for." She guided Jim past all sorts of rooms filled with ramdom unworldly objects, an finally to one rather humid area in which hundreds of plants were crammed. Quite a few were over 8-feet tall and carnivoreus-looking.

"Do any of these plants eat people?" Jim asked.

"Yes, no wait I mean no, of course not, I mean really; what kind of a plant eats people? I thought you asked if they ate pork! Of course they eat pork! I mean after all- it's what's for dinner isn't it?*" She replied ending with a nervous laugh.

"I'm just looking for roses, do you have any of those?"

"Of course! Why here's one right here!" She said, producing a rather volumious, glowing, rose-type blossom from behind a pile of large tendrils. **Now if he'll just buy this I can be one step closer to ruling earth**

"Excuse me m'am but you just thought out loud"

"no I didn't"

"Yes you did; you said: **Now if he'll just buy this I can be one step closer to ruling earth**"

"Umm... I'm a ventriloquist. Thats a little trick I do, I pretend to be an alien trying to take over earth. Funny huh?"

At this point Jim decided to:

*Brought to you by the international pork council

  1. *She's too ditzy to ever stage a successful world takeover- Buy the plant.
  2. *Ask her point blank: Are you an alien?
  3. *Go over to one of the 8' tall plants
  4. *Run for his life and join a conspiracy newsgroup on the web
Go back - Go to the parent episode.

------Eliot---

Mon Jun 29 23:54:32 1998

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